To the Women

Nov 06, 2009

While culture makes it difficult to own your marital home right from the moment you get married to him, you must try and make your presence felt. Every home has challenges and needs a strong wife to confront them.

While culture makes it difficult to own your marital home right from the moment you get married to him, you must try and make your presence felt. Every home has challenges and needs a strong wife to confront them.

The odds start out by being against you but, with support from your husband (which you must actively solicit), you must put your feet on the ground and show your weight. But in whatever you do, diplomacy should be your preferred weapon of choice.

Specifically, note the following:
Take part in your husband’s discussions about family property and actually encourage such discussions. Give your views. If they are intelligent, foresighted and selfless arguments, they will win the confidence of your husband.

Some men love fun, cosmetic show of wealth in expensive wear, hang outs, places to rent and cars.

Encourage him to go slow on current fun and think about family investments, without seeming critical of his preferences. You may also have to forego expensive salon and shopping bills for the sake of building your own house.

Take part in the choice of location, type of house, cost and character either by invitation, instigation or on merit. When you are contributing money to the project, it becomes difficult for your views to be ignored.

Try to lobby for the land title to be in both his and your names. It is a tall order if your husband is too traditional or is being advised by people with traditional views.

But who says you can’t achieve it? If you fail, convince him to put it in the children’s names. But if this fails too, you are not totally helpless as long as your marriage is legal.

Some men argue that women are reluctant to take over the mantle of ownership, forcing the men to go it alone.

Show resilience in managing home affairs and prove that you can handle tough assignments like bargaining with suppliers, supervising sites, identifying loopholes and showing direction.

Learn as much about house construction as you can to enable you handle later site demands.

Put your stamp and character on the management of the home, its cleanness, decor, furniture, and regulations.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});