Prostitutes: why some men find them irresistable

Jan 31, 2008

SAMSON hardly veers off the road he uses to get home after a stressful day shuttling between his law chambers and the High Court. It is 10:00pm and after organising his desk and going through his schedule for the following day, he drives down Kampala Road, turns right into Said Barre Road, up to the

By Timothy Bukumunhe

SAMSON hardly veers off the road he uses to get home after a stressful day shuttling between his law chambers and the High Court. It is 10:00pm and after organising his desk and going through his schedule for the following day, he drives down Kampala Road, turns right into Said Barre Road, up to the roundabout by Crested Towers.

From there it is on to Hannington Road then a right into Shimoni Road and on to his Kololo home. By the time he gets to Hannington Road, the ladies who ply the streets have already turned up for work, but being the respected lawyer that he is with a vivacious wife and two children, he hardly notices the ladies as he cruises past them in his 4×4.

However, that all changed one night when a new lady turned up to ply her trade. Unlike the regulars who are always clad in the recommended uniform for prostitutes – micro-mini skirts, high heel platform shoes and a tight blouse whose buttons are being pushed to the limit, this one was different.

She stood out from the rest not because she was particularly attractive, but because of her attire. A gomesi. Over the next couple of weeks he saw her on the streets and that is when the inevitable happened.

He snapped. He pulled up, negotiated and took her to College Inn, Wandegeya where he satisfied his lust. However, as he picked her up, a car came round the bend, slowed down and flashed its lights then headed off into the night.

To Samson, that incident was the end of the world. He had been caught? Fearing the worst, over the next couple of days he scanned the papers just in case somone he knew has seen him.

Eventually with guilt running through his head he sought the confidence of a lady who works in the media. Over drinks at the Sheraton Hotel, he told the media lady how his ‘client’ had been involved with a prostitute and that if anything came up, the client was willing to pay her top dollar to make the story go away.

Just to show how serious his client was, she was paid sh1,500,000 as a token of appreciation and agreeing to the meeting. Four weeks later Samson paid another sh500,000 on behalf of his ‘client’.

To the lady in the media, it was obvious that Samson was the client because he was a “poor liar, was always fidgeting in his seat and he could not look me straight in the eyes.”

Trawling through Kampala’s bars known to harbour prostitutes, most men we spoke to told us they never leave home with the intention of going to score with a prostitute. Rather, they argue that a stint with them is ‘an impromptu opportunity’ which they took advantage of.

“The coast was clear and going by her dress, she looked more like a university student than a prostitute. It happened so fast and I did not know what I was doing until it was all over,” said a semi-professional man we spoke to in Al’s Bar and who after a long period of thought eventually settled for the name Hamza when we asked him what his name was.

On the other hand, though Charles – (and Charles was not his real name because at the end of the interview, when we asked him for his name, it was no longer Charles but Mukasa) confesses to have picked up two women on different occasions while his wife was in England on a masters programme.

Trying to absolve himself, he was adamant that one of them was not a prostitute because “she did not ask me for money up front…” “True she took me to a lodge on Kibuli Road and she provided the condoms but when I finished, she only demanded money to buy something to eat and transport back home.

So how could she have been a prostitute?” he asked as he looked at us with intent and nervously hoping we would validate his story by agreeing with him.

In Capitol Pub Kabalagala, we met the unshaven and scruffy looking Helmut, an expatriate in the water drilling industry and who was in Kampala for a week of ‘R and R’ (rest and recreation) after spending weeks in southern Sudan.

Helmut and other German companions, including Henry their driver who for the evening took on the role of the pimp, were obviously relishing the pleasures ‘R and R’ gave them.

And the prostitutes too were all eager to get lucky with an assured client rather than wasting time with other men who might not take up their services at the end of the evening.

With Helmut and his entourage firmly in charge, the prostitutes – as if being prostitutes was not bad enough, they were further degraded into stimulating sexual acts especially oral sex if they hoped to spend the night with Helmut and his friends. The more degrading the act, the more it encouraged the men.

Two days later and by chance we met Helmut walking into a Garden City restaurant, looking clean, shaven and respectable but more importantly in the company of his wife and young daughter.

This Helmut with hardly a swear word emanating from his mouth was a far cry from the vulgar breast groping, hands between the prostitutes legs and enforcer various sex stimulation acts that we saw in Capitol Pub.

Of the Ugandans, trying to illicit anything out of them as to why they felt the need to sleep with prostitutes was a tough one. Most simply walked away, some asked if we were the Police while others adopted a very threatening posture. But like one man shouted out: “What is so wrong in paying for ‘cost effective sex?’

I pay the slut sh20,000 and walk away once I am done. There are no hidden costs like there is with my woman. Every time I have sex with her (his woman) the following morning there is a demand for money – 30k to wash her hair, new shoes are required and she has to buy ‘women things’. She gives me sex like she is doing me a favour.

These sluts don’t harass. I just pay the money, drop my pants and head off home to a nagging woman who wants sh150,000 if she is to give me sex!

And you Bukumunhe, I know where you work and I do not give a hoot if you quote me.” After realising what he had said and to who, he quickly finished his beer and made a fast exit.

Tom, another expatriate, living in Uganda and into real estate has a different take. “I have paid for sex so many times that I have lost count. The owner of this pub has probably slept with all the prostitutes who come here.

The expatriates use prostitutes because their wives are back home in England and the prostitutes are available and for a cheap price.

Half the young expatriates here have never had it so good. The closest they have come to having sex back in England is by reading Playboy Magazine and playing with themselves. Here, sex is in the open and all around them.”

He goes on to add, “Ten years ago, they (prostitutes) would demand cash up front. Today it is different. They can even give you sex ‘on the house’ if you buy them some beers and chicken and chips.

The market is tight that if they have not snared a man between midnight and 2:00am, they cannot expect to be paid top dollar. The price of sex goes down after 2:00am and if by 5:00am they don’t have a client, they make do with the watchmen going off night duty so long as the watchman buys them something to eat. Food is sometimes more important to them than money.”

Amina has all sorts of reasons for turning to prostitution to make ends meet which she declined to disclose. However, prostitutes have to be flexible. Ugandans use them to prove their sexual stamina.

They make prostitues kneel in front of them, hold their necks tightly and force them to look at ‘it’ while barking at them to get them to say how well endowed they are. Some deliberately go in for rough sex so that the prostitutes screams in pain.

When they scream during sex, it makes some men feel like real men because ‘they are well endowed.’ However some Europeans have a different take on prostitutes who they pick up. “Says Amina: “When they get to the lodge, they do not want to have sex but to talk. They should be in Butabika.

This man took me to his hotel and when we undressed for sex, he took out some electric wires. At first I thought he was going to beat me. Then he asked me to beat him harder and harder until he was bleeding. When I could beat him no more, he paid me $150,000.

But he was bleeding all over and I was scared of him calling the Police so I just grabbed my clothes and ran away. Other girls who have been with him also say he never asks for sex. He just wants to be beaten.”

As prostitutes, Amina is of the belief that once her services are called for, the end result has to be sex. “After all why would a man pay me and not have sex with me?” she wonders.

Brenda who operates around the Kabalagala/Kansanga area during the week changes her area of operation over the weekends to Rock Bar or the Sheraton. Surprisingly, she is very critical of her fellow prostitutes whom she calls malayas. She says: “They don’t know how to dress.

They give us a bad name because they are always drunk and fight for Chinese men. These malayas operate on the streets but, how can a decent man pick a malaya from the streets? They (malayas) don’t wash and they are dirty so they hide in the dark corners of the streets.

I have no respect for men who sleep with street malayas because those malayas sleep with poor men like askaris, boda boda men and Policemen who can’t afford to take you to a lodge.”

Research from Scotland released to the press last year revealed that men see prostitutes for a variety of reasons – the most obvious being for sexual gratification, but men also see sex workers for company, comfort, cuddles or support.

There are also those who sadly see sex workers because they wish to feel control over someone or act abusively. Some men see sex workers because it is difficult to form relationships for sex due to disability or shyness; others have a life partner who is unable to have sex due to disability or illness.

For those with partners, some see sex workers because they feel they do not get enough sex within their relationship, or feel it’s not appropriate to ask a wife or partner to perform certain sex acts they ask of a prostitute.

Despite the HIV/AIDS risk, according to a survey commissioned in 2004/2005 by the Ministry of Health and ORC Macro in Maryland, USA, men were asked, “In the past 12 months, did you pay anyone to have sex?” women were asked, “In the past 12 months, did any man pay you to have sex?” Women who receive payment for sex may have numerous partners.

They are at high risk for contracting HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections and then passing them on to subsequent partners.

The survey results show that less than one-half of one percent of women 15-49 said they had been paid to have sex in the past 12 months, while 1% of men 15-49 reported they engaged in paid sex in the 12 months preceding the survey (data not shown). Given the small numbers, it would be misleading to present any breakdown by characteristics.

However, it should be noted that 56% of men used a condom the last time they paid for sex. And while Amina says “she always tries to use a condom, if during the course of her duties”, a customer wanted unprotected sex, she would go along with it “if the money was right.”

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