Ask Auntie Liz

Sep 19, 2008

Dear Auntie,<br>I am a Makerere University student aged 20. I have had four girlfriends at different times. I chucked the first three after they were unfaithful. the last one I had in 2006, chucked me claiming that she had got a man of her dreams. She left me totally heart-broken. Up to now I feel

Dear Auntie,
I am a Makerere University student aged 20. I have had four girlfriends at different times. I chucked the first three after they were unfaithful. the last one I had in 2006, chucked me claiming that she had got a man of her dreams. She left me totally heart-broken. Up to now I feel so disappointed with girls.

Those who seduce me are not my standard. I have never had sex and I would like a trustworthy girl who can teach me how to do it. I fear to be rejected but when I see happy couples, I feel left out.

You may have been disappointed so many times but you don’t have to give up. Fear of rejection is one of the most basic fears. Everybody you meet in this life has, at one point, experienced it, so you don’t need to feel out of place.

Take some time to think through your relationships with the opposite sex. You have been in and out of relationships. You find that when one enters a relationship there is a satisfaction they are looking for and that is what keeps it going.

What could it be that you are looking for as you relate with the opposite sex? What is your focus? Love is not limited to sex. If you look at it in this way, you are likely to be disappointed.

Love is a matter of the heart and that’s where trust and faithfulness are nurtured. Continue to associate freely with others, as most relationships begin casually. Remember, don’t be in a hurry. life-shaping decisions need to be made carefully.

Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor

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