Be a man: Accept your weaknesses
Jan 26, 2007
WATCHED the UPDF stamping the ground and smiled at the folly of animal attempts at threatening fellow animals.
DR LOVE
HILARY BAINEMIGISHA
WATCHED the UPDF stamping the ground and smiled at the folly of animal attempts at threatening fellow animals.
When two animals meet for some rather unfriendly interaction, there are tactics they employ to scare each other. Dogs raise their manes, cats make sputter sounds, cows stampede, monkeys strike their chests and man, in absolute lack of creativity, fires tear gas.
And when it comes to showing prowess at other manhood manifestations, mankind presents itself as the invincible ace in the sexual battlefield and laughs loud and longest at fellow man who for any reason, cannot stand to be counted. But beneath the raised mane, scaring sounds, chest striking gimmicks and teargas, lies a sweating, fallible, exhausted and sometimes, scared man.
I received a letter from my beloved fan called Jim: My woman, he said, always expects sex whenever she wants and not whenever I do. This puts me on pressure to perform and the stress is seriously affecting my comfort at home.
Jim, I will not say sorry or any such words of solace because that is part of being a man.
Ever since mankind created sex and consecrated it as the sole indicator of manhood, we men have fallen over ourselves to prove we are men. We have deceived women that we were ever ready and I don’t know many who will tell their horny partners that they are not in moods that evening. Instead, they look for excuses like a ghost pain (the doctor said I must rest), fury over something unclear (Don’t touch me till you reform your spending habits), others import politics (I must find Kayiira’s murderer first), or sports (Don’t touch me: I am mourning Man U massacre).
Those who are less creative go ahead and try but realise that they cannot force a wet rug to stand straight. In the process, their self-esteem and future confidence crumble like a pack of cards.
So, Jim and fellow menfolk: Sometimes we need to jump off our high horses and start talking truth about sex with our partners. You can rage and scare in the comfort of your Ngaramba hideout but when it comes to the battlefield, you must learn to withdraw from clashes you feel you are not prepared for. It doesn’t make you less man at all.
And when you reach a stage where you can call someone’s daughter your woman, it should mean that you are free enough to discuss your fantasies, abilities, likes and dislikes. If you feel weak, tired, or unwell, let your partner know. She may give you an off or opt to take a more active role.
Being confident as a man includes standing on your two feet and telling her: Sorry, madam, you cannot have a party rally at the constitutional square tonight because the business community is under emotional pressure, discomfort, pain, or anxiety. Sex needs an adequate state of mind. Initiating sexual activity when you don't feel quite capable, may lead to failure and future performance anxiety.
Remember, for women, a warm loving relationship is more important than a purely sexual one. Quality companionship can be an alternative to sex until you receive enough ammunition to repulse the enemy. Don’t fight wars you cannot win.
HILARY BAINEMIGISHA
WATCHED the UPDF stamping the ground and smiled at the folly of animal attempts at threatening fellow animals.
When two animals meet for some rather unfriendly interaction, there are tactics they employ to scare each other. Dogs raise their manes, cats make sputter sounds, cows stampede, monkeys strike their chests and man, in absolute lack of creativity, fires tear gas.
And when it comes to showing prowess at other manhood manifestations, mankind presents itself as the invincible ace in the sexual battlefield and laughs loud and longest at fellow man who for any reason, cannot stand to be counted. But beneath the raised mane, scaring sounds, chest striking gimmicks and teargas, lies a sweating, fallible, exhausted and sometimes, scared man.
I received a letter from my beloved fan called Jim: My woman, he said, always expects sex whenever she wants and not whenever I do. This puts me on pressure to perform and the stress is seriously affecting my comfort at home.
Jim, I will not say sorry or any such words of solace because that is part of being a man.
Ever since mankind created sex and consecrated it as the sole indicator of manhood, we men have fallen over ourselves to prove we are men. We have deceived women that we were ever ready and I don’t know many who will tell their horny partners that they are not in moods that evening. Instead, they look for excuses like a ghost pain (the doctor said I must rest), fury over something unclear (Don’t touch me till you reform your spending habits), others import politics (I must find Kayiira’s murderer first), or sports (Don’t touch me: I am mourning Man U massacre).
Those who are less creative go ahead and try but realise that they cannot force a wet rug to stand straight. In the process, their self-esteem and future confidence crumble like a pack of cards.
So, Jim and fellow menfolk: Sometimes we need to jump off our high horses and start talking truth about sex with our partners. You can rage and scare in the comfort of your Ngaramba hideout but when it comes to the battlefield, you must learn to withdraw from clashes you feel you are not prepared for. It doesn’t make you less man at all.
And when you reach a stage where you can call someone’s daughter your woman, it should mean that you are free enough to discuss your fantasies, abilities, likes and dislikes. If you feel weak, tired, or unwell, let your partner know. She may give you an off or opt to take a more active role.
Being confident as a man includes standing on your two feet and telling her: Sorry, madam, you cannot have a party rally at the constitutional square tonight because the business community is under emotional pressure, discomfort, pain, or anxiety. Sex needs an adequate state of mind. Initiating sexual activity when you don't feel quite capable, may lead to failure and future performance anxiety.
Remember, for women, a warm loving relationship is more important than a purely sexual one. Quality companionship can be an alternative to sex until you receive enough ammunition to repulse the enemy. Don’t fight wars you cannot win.