Should I just get married?
Mar 11, 2007
DEAR Jamesa,<br>I graduated in October last year, but I have not yet got a job. I am especially frustrating because I used to be the best student in class. I just feel like the effort will not pay off. Should I just accept a marriage proposal and settle for being a wife?<br>Hanifah.
CAREER GUIDANCE
DEAR Jamesa,
I graduated in October last year, but I have not yet got a job. I am especially frustrating because I used to be the best student in class. I just feel like the effort will not pay off. Should I just accept a marriage proposal and settle for being a wife?
Hanifah.
Dear Hanifah,
Contrary to what many people believe, academic excellence does not often translate into instant employment opportunities. Employers look out for more things beyond your academic transcript.
You have talked of ‘graduating’ but you have not mentioned your qualifications. Was it a certificate, diploma, or degree? With the increasing number of graduates, the job market has become very competitive. This has compelled employers to look beyond academic qualifications.
Most jobs emphasise the need for experience and most employers are quick to offer a job to an already employed person while leaving out the jobless.
Getting something to do doesn’t necessarily mean you must earn an income from it. Have you thought about being engaged in an organisation as a volunteer?
Did you know one opportunity (however humble) leads to another? Being ‘somewhere’ gives you an identity, essential contacts and a platform from which you can explore other opportunities.
Even if the organisation does not retain you, the contacts, exposure and experience will prove invaluable in your career journey. Remember that employers interpret your being at home as lack of seriousness rather than lack of a job.
You are wondering whether you should get married rather than look for a job. Your question regarding acceptance of marriage proposal reflects the depth of your frustration. Seeking solace in a relationship might appear satisfactory in the short run, but with time, the reality will dawn on you.
Career and relationship are both important and each enables you to meet a different need.
A fulfiling relationship provides you with a sense of belonging and perhaps satisfies your emotional need for acceptance. On the other hand, a job meets your need for self-actualisation by offering you the opportunity to exhibit your potentials.
There is nothing wrong with settling down with your partner, but using marriage to escape from frustrations might prove counterproductive. Keep in mind that marriage and career are complementary, but neither can be used to replace the other.
In the hunt for jobs or volunteer work, your emotional state is very important. Frustrations and disappointments hit hard on your self-esteem and might make you doubt your potentials.
This might make you seek solace either in substance abuse, wrong company or in abusive relationships with the opposite sex. If your hunger for marriage stems from frustrations of job hunting, you should consider counselling.
Send your questions to
Education Vision P.O. BOX 9815 Kampala or e-mail to jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
DEAR Jamesa,
I graduated in October last year, but I have not yet got a job. I am especially frustrating because I used to be the best student in class. I just feel like the effort will not pay off. Should I just accept a marriage proposal and settle for being a wife?
Hanifah.
Dear Hanifah,
Contrary to what many people believe, academic excellence does not often translate into instant employment opportunities. Employers look out for more things beyond your academic transcript.
You have talked of ‘graduating’ but you have not mentioned your qualifications. Was it a certificate, diploma, or degree? With the increasing number of graduates, the job market has become very competitive. This has compelled employers to look beyond academic qualifications.
Most jobs emphasise the need for experience and most employers are quick to offer a job to an already employed person while leaving out the jobless.
Getting something to do doesn’t necessarily mean you must earn an income from it. Have you thought about being engaged in an organisation as a volunteer?
Did you know one opportunity (however humble) leads to another? Being ‘somewhere’ gives you an identity, essential contacts and a platform from which you can explore other opportunities.
Even if the organisation does not retain you, the contacts, exposure and experience will prove invaluable in your career journey. Remember that employers interpret your being at home as lack of seriousness rather than lack of a job.
You are wondering whether you should get married rather than look for a job. Your question regarding acceptance of marriage proposal reflects the depth of your frustration. Seeking solace in a relationship might appear satisfactory in the short run, but with time, the reality will dawn on you.
Career and relationship are both important and each enables you to meet a different need.
A fulfiling relationship provides you with a sense of belonging and perhaps satisfies your emotional need for acceptance. On the other hand, a job meets your need for self-actualisation by offering you the opportunity to exhibit your potentials.
There is nothing wrong with settling down with your partner, but using marriage to escape from frustrations might prove counterproductive. Keep in mind that marriage and career are complementary, but neither can be used to replace the other.
In the hunt for jobs or volunteer work, your emotional state is very important. Frustrations and disappointments hit hard on your self-esteem and might make you doubt your potentials.
This might make you seek solace either in substance abuse, wrong company or in abusive relationships with the opposite sex. If your hunger for marriage stems from frustrations of job hunting, you should consider counselling.
Send your questions to
Education Vision P.O. BOX 9815 Kampala or e-mail to jwagwau@newvision.co.ug