Married, but virgin

May 18, 2007

IT can be annoying for wives when husbands insist on rolling in the fresh bedsheets unbathed! Oba why do men hate bathing at night? But if you take that to be frustrating, wait till you hear the experience of Japanese wives.

By Hilary Bainemigisha- Dr. Love

IT can be annoying for wives when husbands insist on rolling in the fresh bedsheets unbathed! Oba why do men hate bathing at night? But if you take that to be frustrating, wait till you hear the experience of Japanese wives.

According to The Taipei Times, the percentage of virgin wives in Japan is increasing! For the Japanese and those of us who have lived there, thiscannot attract an eyebrow raise but for Ugandans, it is a good story to accompany a beer and pork.

For a Japanese man, work, innovation and money are everything. They hardly enjoy their money. My former boss, whose riches I cannot compare with anyone here in Uganda, still woke up at 3:00am to supervise his firm and slept at 8:00pm on a daily basis save for a few vacation days. They work so hard and have no time for marital obligations. A wife’s minerals are a distractive inconvenience to energy retention for the job demands of the next day. Many think of their wives as substitute mothers, not as women with emotional and sexual needs.

I remember how those Japanese men would wonder in amazement when we told them that in Africa, you have to honour all your home league games in order maintain the championship league. My friend, Namatame-san, even used a calculator to prove to me that sex, as often as twice a week, for the rest of your life, would accumulate a lot of strain on your quality of life and was therefore technically impossible. When Jesus was talking of throwing money to Swines, he had Japanese in mind.

The Taipei Times carried a survey in Japan, which show that an alarmingly high number of Japanese couples do not have sex or have sex only rarely. The Taiwan newspaper says sexless marriage is one of several reasons why experts fear that Japan is on the verge of a demographic disaster. In 2003 their birthrate hit a record low of 1.29 — the average number of times a woman gives birth during her lifetime — one of the lowest rates in the world.

The paper quotes a clinic in the Tokyo suburbs which revealed that they receive about 200 women a year saying they have not had sex with their husbands in up to 20 years, and, some, never.

“We are sort of roommates rather than a married couple,” one 31-year-old man, who had not had sex with his wife for two years, told the newspaper.

“The women who come to see me love their husbands and are not looking for a divorce,” Kim Myong-gan, who runs the clinic, said. “The problem is that their husbands lose interest in sex or do not want sex from the start. Men love their work and live for it. They do not even think it is a problem if they do not have sex with their wives. The whole family sleeps together in the same room on the same futon (foldable mattress) giving men reason for snoring instead of scoring. They have sex workers to take care of their needs, but their wives have nowhere to go. They just suffer in silence.”

The number of married couples is in rapid decline. In 2000 almost 70% of men and 54% of women between 25 and 29 were unmarried. A survey of 600 women found that 26% had not had sex with their husbands in the past year. Our own survey of 500 couples in February revealed a mere 6% who were about to forget what sex was in a marriage.

You may find yourself preferring a man who hates a night bath as long as he can be alive and kicking.

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