Men must concede, women rule the world

Apr 07, 2006

Some diplomat took someone’s (Rugunda) wife – or should I say some wife took someone’s (Rwandese) diplomat – to Entebbe the other day. They enjoyed themselves in the Garden of Eden –– oh, was it Windsor? – and before the cock crowed thrice, two whole countries had put aside their daily

y Hilary Bainemigisha
Some diplomat took someone’s (Rugunda) wife – or should I say some wife took someone’s (Rwandese) diplomat – to Entebbe the other day. They enjoyed themselves in the Garden of Eden –– oh, was it Windsor? – and before the cock crowed thrice, two whole countries had put aside their daily work to get disturbed by the event which, when seen as just sex, means no more than an intercourse between male and female.
But in this case, accusations of manipulation and counter accusation of adultery have rocked governments of Uganda and Rwanda. Thanks to Joyce and John the supposed-to-be friendly administrations are folding their sleeves and sharpening their spears.
We saw this long ago. By our O’ level, we had already discovered that no man can succeed as arbiter in any sex war. Not even God! When He dispatched Mr HIV with a red card for the sinful philandering mankind, has man ever cursed sex?
Up to now, every woman walks around with a body part that every man thinks he could put to better use. This makes women so powerful. Forget men and their superior physical strength to rule over others. Women have a different kind of superior strength; while a woman cannot defeat a man in a wrestling or boxing match, she can motivate him, inspire him, encourage him, restrain him, reward him and have power over him that he can never achieve over her with all his muscle. Never dare to cross the path of a man who is moving along with a woman. He can fight to death if only to impress his female.
Foreign singer Madonna said, the cat (pussy) rules the world.
For their ability to promise, intimacy or avail sex, women have held this world by the balls; caused wars between nations (read your Bible), diplomatic wrangles (Uganda-Rwanda), exposed powerful men (Bill Clinton) and brought them down (Samson). Thanks to women and their sex, new religious sects (Anglicans) were formed, celibate empires infiltrated (Catholic church), political empires shattered (Roman empire), people have killed (Herod) and here I am milking my head saying the obvious.
Didn’t Julius Ceasar, one of the great warriors of Rome, abandon his duties in Rome for years to be with Egypt’s Cleopatra? After his death, she decided to take a bit of Mark Anthony, another great Roman warrior, and succeeded with just a snap of her fingers.
Not to mention the seductive Hollywood actress Marilyn Monroe, who would line up the great men along her bed, including a handsome US President, JF Kennedy and legendary singer Frank Sinatra. Every big shot trembled to have a piece of her. She was so beautiful that dictionaries had to use her face to illustrate the word.
And if I was not such a coward, I would have added the Ugandan experience of two gallant men fighting an election twice, a petition twice and threatening mambas and tsunamis.
In Africa, where presidents live to insanity, tyranny increases as their erections fail. A man who cannot stand in bed can be dangerous – so vengeful that whoever crosses his path is seen as laughing at him. When Kyakuwa’s parents run out of school fees, Besigye introduced himself as a dangerous substitute. When the same woman felt threatened, state machinery came to her rescue with facilities even the highest tax payer has not yet accessed from government.
Now tell me who rules the world?
But are women unavoidable? In one way or another, we have been trying to avoid them for centuries but the more we do, the more we lose. Among men who got scared of feminine power was St. Augustine (Makerere OYEE). This man decided that sexual feelings were unnatural (they were God’s punishment, he said). He condemned women as instruments of the devil, and the entire Holy Mother Church quickly followed suit. Until one day a contemporary pope, the earthly assistant of a male God who was leading the crusade against women, was found being humbled between a woman’s legs.
Up to today, those who carry a banner of upright purist living under the cover of light are the people who succumb to temptation faster under the cover of darkness: religious leaders, political bosses, diplomats and other people we esteem so highly.
And, even if a diplomat is not stealing Rugunda’s wife, the mass consensus during the day is still that sexual feelings are somehow sinful. Yet when advertisers splash nude girls on screens and television, they sell their goods in tonnes. Sex can now be used to advertise everything from guns to dog bones.
But we could forget all this struggle to be holier than thou and use the power of women to develop ourselves. As men, we can study or work harder to be seen by women as richer and therefore more worthy of their attention. By the time cows return to kraals, let us harvest part of this female prowess in peace where diplomats plough their swords in the right sheaths. That way, Rugunda, Ngarambe, Ngayiza, Ugandans, and Rwandese will live in peace.
Until some over sexy girl pops up at the horizon.
Ends

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