Dealing with rebellious kids
May 15, 2005
‘Leave me alone!†“You are bugging my life!†“Give me a break, I didn’t ask to be born!†Many parents are familiar with such statements from their adolescent children.
By Elvina Nawaguna
‘Leave me alone!†“You are bugging my life!†“Give me a break, I didn’t ask to be born!†Many parents are familiar with such statements from their adolescent children. And most parents fear the time their children turn into teens as a time of tension, rebellion, conflict and frustration.
Stephen Langa of Family Life Network says at a certain point in life, rebellion will come anyway. For instance, two-year olds are known to be non-conformist. “There is nothing wrong with that, because the child is just trying to discover themselves and their world.
Rebellion in teens is bound to happen around the age of 15 to 17. Dr Dave Currie, in his article Tackling the Teenage Crisis says almost every teenager will test the limits and even cross the line at one point or another.
According to Langa, at this age, they are transitioning to adulthood. They are trying to assert themselves and be themselves in their own right. They no longer want to be Mummy’s or Daddy’s boy,†Langa says.
However, Langa says a parent should not worry about that stage, but continue to love and support and just give them the space to grow up.
Currie says normal rebellion is healthy because it helps the child grow into maturity. They may make a few mistakes in their attempts to question the world around them and to own their personal beliefs and actions, but this failure plays a critical role in the learning process.
In healthy rebellion the teenager will withdraw from mushy relations with parents and will generally want to make decisions for themselves and stand up strongly for what they believe. At such times, parents should allow them to take increasing control of their lives and allow them independence in matters of taste. And discuss with them in issues to do with safety and morality and come to compromise with them.
There is, however, unhealthy rebellion where the child is just outrightly rebellious and does not want to fit in the home programmes.
“Unhealthy rebellion manifests itself in a negative attitude towards all authority figures,†Currie says.
Children become very defiant and close communication channels. They may become disrespectful and talk back to parents and sometimes even get physically violent. They become deceptive and may even get involved in addictive substances like alcohol and drugs. Parents are advised to analyse these situations before jumping to conclusions.
Ends
‘Leave me alone!†“You are bugging my life!†“Give me a break, I didn’t ask to be born!†Many parents are familiar with such statements from their adolescent children. And most parents fear the time their children turn into teens as a time of tension, rebellion, conflict and frustration.
Stephen Langa of Family Life Network says at a certain point in life, rebellion will come anyway. For instance, two-year olds are known to be non-conformist. “There is nothing wrong with that, because the child is just trying to discover themselves and their world.
Rebellion in teens is bound to happen around the age of 15 to 17. Dr Dave Currie, in his article Tackling the Teenage Crisis says almost every teenager will test the limits and even cross the line at one point or another.
According to Langa, at this age, they are transitioning to adulthood. They are trying to assert themselves and be themselves in their own right. They no longer want to be Mummy’s or Daddy’s boy,†Langa says.
However, Langa says a parent should not worry about that stage, but continue to love and support and just give them the space to grow up.
Currie says normal rebellion is healthy because it helps the child grow into maturity. They may make a few mistakes in their attempts to question the world around them and to own their personal beliefs and actions, but this failure plays a critical role in the learning process.
In healthy rebellion the teenager will withdraw from mushy relations with parents and will generally want to make decisions for themselves and stand up strongly for what they believe. At such times, parents should allow them to take increasing control of their lives and allow them independence in matters of taste. And discuss with them in issues to do with safety and morality and come to compromise with them.
There is, however, unhealthy rebellion where the child is just outrightly rebellious and does not want to fit in the home programmes.
“Unhealthy rebellion manifests itself in a negative attitude towards all authority figures,†Currie says.
Children become very defiant and close communication channels. They may become disrespectful and talk back to parents and sometimes even get physically violent. They become deceptive and may even get involved in addictive substances like alcohol and drugs. Parents are advised to analyse these situations before jumping to conclusions.
Ends