The mathematician who personally does his shopping at shoprite, was not shop-talking, he was dead serious. In fact, he has asked the New Vision to apologise for allowing their reporter to walk into one of the Makerere lecture rooms and sit for an exam without identification!
Okay, you would expect me to stick to The New Visionâ€™s side just like some MPs stuck to the Visionaryâ€™s side, but I beg to differ. Principles are principles, period.
How on earth could the Sunday Vision expose Makerere University like that? When a man is down and out, you do not continue assaulting him.
For all these years, Makerereâ€™s thighs have been exposed by the female students; Sunday Vision did not have to expose other parts!
I fee... (sob) yes, Iâ€¦..feelâ€¦.(sob) Prof Luboobiâ€™s pain (someone pass me a hankie) and I would like to apologise to Makerere University on behalf of all the right-thinking Ugandans who read that story and did not, not believe it!
At first, I had chucked my campus girlfriend because she came and told me sheâ€™d finished her exams and for all I cared she could have been one of those xerox-ers exposed by the story.
However, after listening to Luboobi, I have reinstated her onto the coveted Saggy throne and I once again want to apologise to Luboobi.
You all know, via standards, Makerere is currently the most ballistic university after the prestigious Musa Body University of Technology in Katwe! Thereâ€™s no way a stranger would have walked into that examination room and sat for an exam without being detected.
Do you want to tell me all those hundreds of thousands (not quite, but as if) of students crammed into a hall can fail to see an intruder, especially when this intruder is carrying a billboard with the words â€œI am a Sunday Vision undercover reporter?â€
Luboobi is right, there has never been any academic fraud at Makerere, I swear. Former MP Naomi Kabasharira is my witness! Mr Luboobi, I am so sorry that this allegation was raised against the institution you head.
Please take my apology, I know this is not the New Visionâ€™s front page, but just imagine it is. After all, blessed are those who believe without seeing!
We all know examination security at Makunika is so tight that the sharper students from the faculty of thigh-ography do practical exams way out of the university on Speke Road and around the Post office at night!
The University has since carried out an investigation to ascertain Sunday Visionâ€™s investigation. Preliminary reports have it (according to Luboobi) that there was no Sunday Vision reporter in an examination room on the said date and time.
Okay letâ€™s say such a thing actually happened, but did the Sunday Vision have to publish it? Personally, I know of someone who supervises exams at Makerere University, yet he is not a university staff, but have you ever heard me talking about it? Certain things are better left unsaid!
Lastly, Luboobi, I have no student identity card on me, but tonight, I am coming to sit for an exam at Makerere University in Mary Stuart, to be precise. By the way, this exam is right under your jurisdiction, yes, you guessed right, it is a Mathematics exam.
We (me and my discussion-mate) are going to kusaza those numbers like crazy. We shall begin by subtracting clothes, adding a bed, dividing legs and multiplying. I dare any of your invigilators to come and supervise!
My apologies to Makerere