Who is to blame for indisciplined children?

By Hilary Bainemigisha
Holidays are here! Children are coming home and for some families, it is going to be like putting a stick in a column of peaceful ants journeying home.
The relief of final exams may transform itself into loud volume blasts of radios from the usually quiet homes, crowded cinema halls, packed nightclubs and kimansulo on the streets.
According to Moses Ssemakula of Community Affairs and Family Protection Police, Old Kampala, the crime rate is likely to surge.
“We always get more reported cases of defilement, incest, domestic violence, rape and assault during school holidays. This is why I hail the work of teachers. Children get spoilt more when they are with their parents than teachers,” he says.
Ssemakula says 70% of the crimes committed during vacations are by student holiday makers. He attributes this to parent negligence. Teachers, unlike parents, do their grooming work as a profession and face punitive measures for failure to comply.
He says some parents fear to annoy their children and instead request police to intervene. It should be a parent’s duty to make sure children do not escape from home at night, indulge in alcohol taking, smoking or use of bad language.
“When students go to beach bashes and misbehave, I really blame parents,” Ssemakula says.
He said the idea of boys’ quarters for older boys has been abused. Parents do not inspect children’s rooms. So the kids import women, escape to drink and even indulge in drugs.
But Elvis Mbareebaki of Munaku, Rubaga, whose son was arrested for drug use and assault last holidays, blames schools.
“Children bring home difficult behaviour they never had before. It cannot be parents who teach children bad words, drug use and disrespect of elders. Why is it that when you change schools, behaviour changes?”
Ssemakula believes a parent could halt such anomalies.
“I blame parents who do not intervene when the children are seen with money, mobile phones, perfumes and other items they claim to have got from friends!” Ssemakula says.
Today’s demanding socio-economic environment has increased pressure on parents who have to work and supervise their offspring. They leave every morning and return in evenings. When they leave, children also leave, loiter around, or engage in harmful behaviour.
There is also what Ssemakula called the ‘stupid culture of calling everybody ‘Uncle’ or ‘Auntie’. The ‘uncles’ then take advantage and defile the girls. “Mothers use risky ‘playful’ language with unfamiliar people like bodaboda boys; ‘Bakazi bo batwale ku somelo’ (take your wives to school); ‘Bamwe tanabanona?’ (Your husband hasn’t picked you yet?) This may send a wrong signal to the daughters.
He names the following people as likely to be risky in the company of especially the girl child: taxi drivers and conductors, houseboys, relatives at home, bodaboda guys, ‘uncles’ and drivers.
However, Wagwau Jamesa, a counsellor says while the quality of parenting may have gone down, it would be prejudicial to lay a blanket blame on all parents. Indiscipline may result from the structure of schools and homes not individuals therein.
“Unlike a school, a home has no fence, no bells and no timetable. Children leave a school prison-like environment with the urge to have fun before they return.”
Wagwau advises that parents should endeavour to keep their children busy.
“Get them work or small courses to study to occupy them and tire them out by the end of the week. They will be less troublesome,” Wagwau says.
Ends