Who affords dating anymore?
Jul 21, 2011
Last Saturday, God really harassed me with temptation of no ordinary kind. From dawn to dusk, He brought all the temptation He carefully saved His son during the Biblical 40 days of the wilderness and loaded it on me.
Last Saturday, God really harassed me with temptation of no ordinary kind. From dawn to dusk, He brought all the temptation He carefully saved His son during the Biblical 40 days of the wilderness and loaded it on me.
I kept meeting very beautiful ladies in a light skin, seductive smiles, bold willingness and plenty of time – a lethal combination if you ask me, very willing to talk to me, occupy and make use of lots of my resources which, in the current economy, is only limited to time. One girl tapped me on the back and when I turned, … anyway, story for next time.
At first, I did not notice God’s provocation. It was when the coincidences became a pattern that I took offense at God’s presents of meat to a toothless me. In this economy, starting a new relationship is very suicidal.
Imagine the discomfort thinking of the balance in your pocket during a passionate kiss. I would rather spend all the time vetting my next expenditure according to the criteria of the major high-level comedians managing our economy. Didn’t they advise us to stop ‘wasting’ money on Chameleone, beer and hot dogs?
Now tell me; if the only stress relievers available in this economy are avoided, won’t the population accumulate stress and start crowding into Bukedde TV’s Agataliko nfuufu doing all sorts of crazy things - from clearing Seya for a ministry of Fortfolio to begetting children with pigs?
What I didn’t know is that this economy is run by believers in alternative medicine! This is a medical discipline where the human body is acknowledged as a super self-cleansing organ, which will rid itself of infection and diseases with minimum intervention. That even when you start breathing out yellow teargas without an explanation, you will, given time and plenty of fluids like beer, recover spontaneously. They are now applying it to the economy of Uganda.
They are hoping that Saul will eventually instantly become Paul. But if I were they, I would actually drag Saul to the nearest river and forcefully baptise him Paul so that when God sends His temptation again, I don’t look for the nearest exit.
Otherwise we shall be like Jesus, who had so many options for dying: Poison, walk to work, marriage, resisting UTODA, riding a bodaboda, but he chose hanging on the cross. I still wonder who His advisers were!
Woe to you if you are still living as if you were in the good old days when you took a woman out, fed her on things that scare people with little money, shun boda Bs in preference of special hire, and leave her with a sh50,000 for just. Now, if the whole date budget cannot cling on to sh10,000, which it rarely does, you are better off doing without it.
By the time the two years Bank of Uganda promised us to be struggling are done, the current dating generations will have moved on without dating, innovated money-less dating strategies (which we demand urgently) or dated themselves into distinct poverty.
My advice is that all stakeholders agree that money is scarce for everybody except MPs and Movement big shots. And these are either already taken or not enough to go around for every date-hungry soul.
For us on the outside, let us agree that since we are in painful financial times, we cut short (or out completely) the time where we have to impress our date, negotiate good terms and expect the best.
That way I can take God’s temptation by the horns. I don’t want Him to start thinking I may be a coward.
And if you are one of those I run away from recently, don’t blame me, take up your banners and demonstrate at Bank of Uganda or better still, at the Constitutional Square. Don’t fear, Kayihura is out of the country.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
I kept meeting very beautiful ladies in a light skin, seductive smiles, bold willingness and plenty of time – a lethal combination if you ask me, very willing to talk to me, occupy and make use of lots of my resources which, in the current economy, is only limited to time. One girl tapped me on the back and when I turned, … anyway, story for next time.
At first, I did not notice God’s provocation. It was when the coincidences became a pattern that I took offense at God’s presents of meat to a toothless me. In this economy, starting a new relationship is very suicidal.
Imagine the discomfort thinking of the balance in your pocket during a passionate kiss. I would rather spend all the time vetting my next expenditure according to the criteria of the major high-level comedians managing our economy. Didn’t they advise us to stop ‘wasting’ money on Chameleone, beer and hot dogs?
Now tell me; if the only stress relievers available in this economy are avoided, won’t the population accumulate stress and start crowding into Bukedde TV’s Agataliko nfuufu doing all sorts of crazy things - from clearing Seya for a ministry of Fortfolio to begetting children with pigs?
What I didn’t know is that this economy is run by believers in alternative medicine! This is a medical discipline where the human body is acknowledged as a super self-cleansing organ, which will rid itself of infection and diseases with minimum intervention. That even when you start breathing out yellow teargas without an explanation, you will, given time and plenty of fluids like beer, recover spontaneously. They are now applying it to the economy of Uganda.
They are hoping that Saul will eventually instantly become Paul. But if I were they, I would actually drag Saul to the nearest river and forcefully baptise him Paul so that when God sends His temptation again, I don’t look for the nearest exit.
Otherwise we shall be like Jesus, who had so many options for dying: Poison, walk to work, marriage, resisting UTODA, riding a bodaboda, but he chose hanging on the cross. I still wonder who His advisers were!
Woe to you if you are still living as if you were in the good old days when you took a woman out, fed her on things that scare people with little money, shun boda Bs in preference of special hire, and leave her with a sh50,000 for just. Now, if the whole date budget cannot cling on to sh10,000, which it rarely does, you are better off doing without it.
By the time the two years Bank of Uganda promised us to be struggling are done, the current dating generations will have moved on without dating, innovated money-less dating strategies (which we demand urgently) or dated themselves into distinct poverty.
My advice is that all stakeholders agree that money is scarce for everybody except MPs and Movement big shots. And these are either already taken or not enough to go around for every date-hungry soul.
For us on the outside, let us agree that since we are in painful financial times, we cut short (or out completely) the time where we have to impress our date, negotiate good terms and expect the best.
That way I can take God’s temptation by the horns. I don’t want Him to start thinking I may be a coward.
And if you are one of those I run away from recently, don’t blame me, take up your banners and demonstrate at Bank of Uganda or better still, at the Constitutional Square. Don’t fear, Kayihura is out of the country.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug