Where is the gentleman?

By Sonia Mukundane
HEY! Don’t get me wrong, gentlemen do exist …Ahem! Well, it’s just that they are increasingly becoming scarce.

Before you get all defensive, let’s take a little jog down memory lane. It’s just you and I in the “building” so no need to lie. Be honest, I promise not to tell.

When was the last time you opened the door for a chick? Huh? Hold your horses! Before you run out of breath going through the long list, allow me to burst your bubble; all the chicks you opened the door for with the sole intention of grabbing their attention don’t count.

So let’s rephrase: How many times have you opened the door for a chick? Why are you silent? What’s happened to the list? Hehehe . . . I am so totally not shocked.

Generally speaking, there are three types of gentlemen; those who behave as such only on special occasions i.e when trying to impress a girl while out or on a date.

Those who only behave as such when they have no choice i.e when your hands are full and therefore cannot open the door, so you look sternly at a guy until he feels guilty or when you request him to help you carry a heavy load weighing you down.

Then, the last type is not even a type, but I am only including them for politeness’ sake, you know general happiness category; the guys who are totally clueless about the word a.k.a the ones who think that all there is to being a gentleman is dressing up smart in a formal outfit and making sure the shirt stays tucked in.

“These days, guys think that treating a girl nicely is all about buying her expensive gifts and complimenting her all the time,” says Linda. “Acting like a gentleman also counts, it’s actually the easiest way to wind up the ladies’ man. Girls love guys who treat them like they are special.”

“But what about the fact that girls nowadays think that every time you’re trying to be a gentleman, you are trying to hit on them?” Michael complains. “That’s why it’s easier to only be one when need arises. That way, you send no mixed signals.”

“Even if that was the case, it’s not excuse enough not to be a gentleman,” Joe disagrees with Michael. “A lady is a lady and deserves to be treated like one,” he argues. “For example, I’ve seen guys who hit chicks and it really infuriates me! We guys are the protectors even if the ladies want to sometimes feel in charge.

When you take a chick out, it’s only gentlemanly to make sure she gets home safe, give her your coat if the weather is chilly and at no point take advantage of her. That’s the true test of a real man.”

All the girls I came across agreed with Joe. “There are very few gentlemen nowadays. They are such a scarce comodity that being one is a quality to brag about,” says Diana.

“For example, guys who skip queues when ladies are in front of them. That’s not even an issue of whether one is a gentleman or not, it’s common knowledge and sheer courtesy. Once I was in a restaurant whose tables were all occupied.

So some guy comes, he sits next to me at my table, doesn’t bother to say hi, or ask if the seat was taken. Need I say more? Guys, being a gentleman does not subtract anything from your swag, in fact it gets you bonus points.

I am very sure your mothers raised you right, so why not make them proud. Act it!