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LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

I am in my second year at the university and in a very enjoyable relationship. However, I recently discovered that I am pregnant. 

My boyfriend insists that I abort the baby because we don’t have money and the ability to look after it since we are both in school. He has promised to marry me and I trust him. 

But I am scared of going through with an abortion and fear losing him if I do not. I am stressed. Please help me.

Georgina
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Whatever the situation, you shouldn't succumb to your boyfriend's demands for fear of losing him, and in the process of undergoing an abortion; you may lose your life. 

He may distance himself from all this, therefore, stand strong and do not waver for whatever decision you make.

His pressure may arouse many feelings, but you too have your own desires that you don't want to suppress. Most times, your thinking may not match with his, but you are a decision-maker.

If he is pushing for an abortion when you have not established your own desires for your pregnancy, there are likely underlying problems that are surfacing with this big life decision. 

Talk to him extensively and if he still insists on it and you are not sure about your future together, go ahead and he will support you after delivery.

You can also follow these guiding steps:

1. Set clear boundaries, share your thoughts with a trusted friend for support, and communicate your decision to your boyfriend.

2. Make clear and specific requests, observe and evaluate his actions with patience and love. If he responds to your set requests with anger, frustration, or violence, then it's high time you consider if your relationship has a lasting future.

3. Confide in someone who can understand your feelings, accept your boundaries, and can side with you.

4. You can also communicate with your parents, who can equally advise you on the way forward. Their response will strengthen your confidence while making your final decision.

5. Be incredibly strong and let no amount of peer pressure sway you from making your desired decision. Even if it's someone you love pushing you in the opposite direction because, in the end, it's your life.

6. Your boyfriend might have a number of reasons to explain his resistance, but the reality is more likely to be internal, whereby he may not even love you. So, it's not ideal to risk your life on account of someone who does not care for your health. For proper guidance, seek a counsellor’s services.

Robert Mugenyi, marriage counsellor