Parents tipped on handling children during school holidays

As schools close for the long Christmas break, homes brace for weeks of shifting routines, heightened emotions and restless children.

And while many parents look forward to bonding time, child and family counsellor Dickson Tumuramye warns that the holiday season can “either strengthen a home or expose cracks that have been ignored for months.”

He says most families struggle because they “expect the holiday to manage itself” instead of planning for the behavioural changes that come with long breaks, altered sleep patterns, fluctuating appetites and reduced motivation. 

Among teenagers, those shifts can be more dramatic: “withdrawal, mood swings, exaggerated privacy and long hours glued to gadgets.”

“For many adolescents, the excitement of Christmas comes with anxiety, peer pressure and the temptation to lie just to fit in,” Tumuramye says. 

“Some escape from home to clubs or go out with friends.”

Tumuramye and other experts shared tips on how to handle children of different ages during the holidays, at the Empowered Generation Forum at Sheraton Kampala on November 25.

The toddler 

Research shows that children aged 0–5 absorb emotional and social cues fastest. Public health researcher Dr Stella Alamo stressed that “children grasp the fastest between ages 0–5,” yet many spend most of that time in daycare and return home to distracted parents.

Tumuramye advised keeping toddlers grounded with simple, repeatable routines, greetings, saying “thank you,” brushing teeth, washing faces, and bedtime prayers. These rituals give them rhythm and security.

“Home is the first school,” he emphasised. “It is the foundation for everything.”

The school-age child 

Children between three and 10 are eager imitators who thrive when given responsibility. Tumuramye encouraged parents to teach basic chores, clearing the table, collecting rubbish, washing simple utensils, or bathing themselves. 

By age seven, they should manage tasks like making their beds and cooking basic meals under supervision.

He cautioned, however, against turning the holiday into a second school term. Light routines, deadlines for tasks, and gentle accountability are better balanced with play, rest, and outdoor activities.

The pre-teen 

At this stage, children are curious, emotional, and testing independence. Tumuramye said the secret is consistency: “Too much freedom or too little freedom is bad. One creates entitlement, the other low self-esteem.”

He urged parents to avoid nagging and instead allow small failures that teach responsibility.

Parenting advocate Annette Mpuuga criticised what she called “parenting in ignorance” and noted that many adults confidently use ineffective methods. 

“People are not sure what to do, but they do what they are not sure of with a lot of confidence, and it hurts everybody around them.”

Her call was for society, not just parents, to “shout parenting to every stakeholder.”

Parenting advocate Annette Mpuuga criticised what she called “parenting in ignorance” and noted that many adults confidently use ineffective methods. 

The teenager 

Teenagers, experts agreed, require engagement rather than policing. Tumuramye advised clear gadget rules, honest conversations, and designated device-free hours.

“Don’t pretend because they will find out and play games on you,” he warned parents who try to understand teens’ digital world without actually learning it.

Former minister Dr Victoria Sekitoleko highlighted Uganda’s mental-health crisis, saying, “In Uganda, we do not have a language for mental issues,” leaving teens to interact with emotionally unstable adults at home and school.

Leadership consultant and boy-child advocate Dr David Kabiswa said technology is shaping teenagers faster than parents can adjust. He urged adults to speak teens’ language and abandon intimidation tactics.

The Ministry of Health’s 2023 National Adolescent Report backs this up, citing increased rates of substance abuse, anxiety, and online-related stress.

Check on the adult child 

Parenting does not end when children join university or start to work. “Everybody is a child at home regardless of age,” Tumuramye said. 

He encouraged open conversations about finances, relationships, and ethics.

Alamo shared how her university-going son returned home after gaining weight on fast food and asked her to teach him how to cook. It reminded her that “some lessons make sense only when life matures the child.”

When siblings clash 

Conflict is inevitable when children of different ages spend long days together.
Tumuramye advised parents to avoid taking sides immediately, listen, and teach forgiveness.

“Not every conflict needs discipline,” he says, stressing that fathers should serve as calm, fair arbiters.

Children with special emotional needs 

These children need patience and tailored support. Tumuramye warned against comparisons and urged parents to seek professional help when overwhelmed.

SSP Emilian Kayima called for safer homes, noting that violence against children continues to rise. “If a home is safe, then the nation is safe,” he said.

The forum also launched Grospiration, a movement promoting collective parenting. Mpuuga argued that poor parenting affects everyone: “Your well-brought-up child will marry the one who was not brought up right, and they are going to be a problem to you.”

Airtel Uganda chairman Hannington Karuhanga urged parents to share life experiences before society takes the lead, telling his children, “Whatever you own didn’t come for free. Wealth is built like bricks.”