Wife-sharing is sexually immoral

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OPINION

By Josepha Jabo

I write this opinion in response to a New Vision article published on March 25, 2026, entitled Wife sharing fuelling new HIV infections in Ankole.

In the article, the writer shared alarming figures about the HIV prevalence rate. 

“Kiruhura has the highest HIV prevalence in the Ankole sub-region at 11.5%, significantly above the national average of 4.9%, according to the 2025 national HIV estimates. This translates to about 10% of Uganda’s total HIV burden. Mbarara city follows with a prevalence of 9.9%. Mbarara district stands at 7.5%. Bushenyi district has an HIV prevalence of 8%.”

In the article, some of the drivers perpetuating the high HIV prevalence rate in this sub-region believe certain harmful cultural practices that require a mindset change to be uprooted. One cultural practice that I found particularly shocking was okureeba ente ahu zarugire, which means to see where the cows come from.

First of all, the family looks for the girl. When a suitable girl is identified, the father pays bride price to her family in the form of cows (ente). However, when the son gets married, on the wedding night, since the father-in-law paid cows for the girl, the father has sex with the bride before his son, to determine whether or not she is good in bed. If the bride pleases the father-in-law, he allows his son to proceed with the marriage. If he finds her displeasing, the girl is sent away in disgrace, even after being deflowered and losing her virginity. 

During the course of the marriage, every once in a while, the father-in-law continues to sleep with his daughter-in-law. Traditionally, if this son came home and found his father’s spear outside his hut, it meant his father was having sex with his wife, so he would discreetly disappear, making himself scarce until the act was over.

In okwarirana, the brother shares his brother’s wife sexually, or the husband offers his wife for the night to a visiting male friend.

Basically, the son does not get married alone. He gets married only to find himself sharing his wife with his father, brothers and his male friends if he is agreeable. After all, they too will return the favour.

These cultural practices completely disregard the sanctity of marriage, leading to heartbreak and broken homes. Since these cultural practices promote incestuous relationships, it is no wonder that in these societies the words ‘nephew’ and ‘niece’ are rarely used. ‘Son’ or ‘daughter’ are more commonly used words amongst kinsfolk because your brother’s child could very well be your child, since you were sleeping with his wife. It is also common for a man living in this society to call his sisters-in-law his ‘wives.’

These cultural practises are a direct affront to Leviticus 18:15-16 (RSV), which says: “You shall not uncover the nakedness of your daughter-in-law; she is your son’s wife, you shall not uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your brother’s wife; she is your brother’s nakedness.”

In addition, when King Herod married his brother Philip’s wife, Herodias, John the Baptist rebuked him, saying: “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” (Mark 6:18, RSV).

In Europe and America, there is a similar practice called wife-swapping or swinging. The only difference is that wife-swapping does not include relatives, as is the case with wife-sharing, but neighbours and friends swap wives for one night of sexual activity.

A woman caught up in an adulterous union is always insecure because she knows her husband can cheat on her at any time. She might get frustrated and decide to take revenge by cheating. When spouses are cheating on each other, the marriage bed, which is supposed to be holy (Hebrews 13:4), becomes a hotbed for sexually transmitted diseases.

Atiretroviral drugs and lenacapavir give a false sense of security. HIV/AIDS is still an incurable killer disease that becomes a socio-economic problem when it wipes out family heads or breadwinners, children become orphans, and there is an increase in child-headed homes.

These sexually immoral, lust-driven cultural practices undermine President Yoweri Museveni’s efforts to fight HIV/AIDS, which he began in the 1980s to date, when he began promoting sexual purity through the ABC (abstain, be faithful or use a condom) model, teaching abstaining from sex before marriage and being faithful in marriage. 

Therefore, Ugandans involved in this risky sexual behaviour must reform for Uganda to achieve the objective of ending AIDS by 2030.

The writer works for Uganda Media Centre