No internet? No worries

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WHAT’S UP!

I have to think back a long time to remember when we last went a week without access to the internet. The close of last week reminded me of the times of lockdown, but although we could not move (at least for the first few days), the internet was on, and the Government was still friends with Facebook.

In fact, I got vibes of the 1986 war, when, of course, there was no internet. But there was also no power, and one could not move freely.

As the war got closer to Kampala, desperate soldiers on the losing side would shoot you as much as say hello. So, everyone stayed behind closed doors.

Last Tuesday’s ‘darkness’ came early, at 6:00pm. And we realised just how much our lives depended on the internet. Before then, the only text messages I would receive were either a notification that someone had sent me mobile money or that some bill was due to be paid. The only person I would send text messages to was the Advice Chick lady, who, for some reason, refuses to be on WhatsApp (I can see her smiling now).

For all the denials, we knew the internet was going to be turned off. But the very short notice took all of us by surprise.

We thought it would go off the day of the elections, just before results were about to be announced, to stop ‘unauthorised’ announcements. So, the Tuesday cut-off got us with our pants down, literally.

Ever since I moved house, I had not bothered to set up my DStv dish. I relied mostly on DStv Stream, and if necessary, would connect my laptop to the TV. But now I could not even watch the news on TV to see what was going on.

My ‘neighbour’ had GOtv, but preferred to watch translated movies on Spark TV (had no idea anyone actually watched that station), and was not interested in the news. Afterwards, he would switch to Agataliiko Nfufu on Bukedde TV. So, basically, I was on my own.

I used to download movies and series, but they took up too much storage space, so I resorted to just streaming. But obviously, I could not do that now. If this were even 10 years ago, I would have gone to the local video store and borrowed a few DVDs. But my new laptop does not even have a CD reader. So, yeah, I was on my own.

That night, after playing a few rounds of FreeCell on my laptop, I remembered that I had several books I had not read (I still try to buy at least two books every month, so I had a real stock).

After a quick browse through the stock, I decided to catch up with old Richard Sharpe. I had stopped buying books about that Napoleonic wars English hero, because what kind of story goes on for 28 books? But they are easy reads, just what I needed. So, at around 10:00pm, I took down Sharpe’s Fortress, one of the last in the series.

I had planned to read until about midnight, but Bernard Cornwell tells a good tale and, before I knew it, it was 6:00am in the morning, and Sharpe had won his latest war. That’s when I went to sleep.

I woke up around 10:00am, completely disoriented. My usual morning routine involved checking my phone to catch up with the latest news — from sports to what crazy stuff is coming out of Trump’s America. But without the internet, I could not do that.

After a leisurely breakfast and a few more rounds of FreeCell, I had no idea what to do with myself. I decided to go and buy a newspaper at the supermarket, and see what everyone else was about.

But all the papers had sold out, which maybe I should have expected. But, when was the last time that happened? I asked the friendly cashier to please keep one for me over the next few days, and she smilingly agreed, making sure I saw her dimples.

Back home, I spent the next couple of hours on the crossword app on my phone. But after solving about 20 of them, it got tiresome. I had a sleep deficit caused by Col Sharpe (rtd), so I had a nap.

After the nap, I still didn’t know what to do with myself. So again, I turned to my book stock. What caught my eye first was Joe Abercrombie’s The Blade Itself. Someone had recommended Abercrombie to me, so I had bought this one a few years ago. But I never got around to reading it. While I like fantasy, there are too many boring fantasy wannabe writers.

I decided to give this one a try, and boy, was I glad I did. I literally couldn’t put it down, and while the next day folks were going to vote and getting beaten and shot for their pains, I was lost in Abercrombie’s fantasy world.

After Abercrombie, I quickly went through Sam Bourne’s The Final Reckoning, and then turned to my old friend James A. Michener’s Alaska. I was so lost in the book world that I didn’t notice the internet had been turned on come Saturday night.

So, while the Government folks were worried about people’s reactions when elections didn’t go their way, it was actually a week of forced internet detoxing for me. And I loved it.

You can follow Kalungi Kabuye on X: @KalungiKabuye