Honouring mothers beyond a day: Call for shared responsibility and cultural change

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OPINION

By Sandra Kirenga

This Mother’s Day, I found myself needing more than the usual greetings and gifts. I wanted us to pause, to truly reflect on what mothers carry, quietly and constantly, every single day. I thought about our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers.

Women who carried homes on their backs, raised children with love and discipline, and probably stayed in hard marriages not because they wanted to, but because they had no choice. Many sacrificed their dreams, worked tirelessly, and gave everything while asking for nothing. They were praised for being strong, but rarely asked if they were okay.

Today, the narrative is shifting, but not nearly enough. Some women are walking away when the burden becomes too heavy, not because they love their families less, but because now they can. Financial stability, education, and legal protections offer freedoms their mothers never had. Still, the truth remains, we are failing mothers. Too many are still doing it all and doing it alone.

The invisible load

Globally, women perform over 2.5 times more unpaid care work than men, according to UN Women. They cook, clean, raise children, tend to the sick, manage emotions, and support households largely without recognition or compensation.

In Uganda alone, women juggle 15 to 18 hours of unpaid work daily. They make up over 70% of agricultural labour, yet own less than 20% of registered land. Their contributions feed families and fuel the economy, yet this labour remains invisible in most policies and budgets. If monetised, it would be worth over $10.9 trillion annually (Oxfam, 2020). But the greatest cost isn’t economic, it’s emotional.

Glorifying the “Strong Mother”

We celebrate mothers for their strength, however, maybe it’s time we asked: why must she be so strong in the first place? Too many mothers suffer from burnout, chronic fatigue, and illnesses linked to long-term stress. Psychologists call it silent anger - the buildup of unspoken pain from always giving and rarely receiving.

A 2022 University of Pittsburgh study found that women of colour who suppress anger are 70% more likely to develop heart disease. Other research connects self-silencing to chronic fatigue, IBS, HIV, and even cancer. Strength without support isn’t empowerment, it’s neglect.

Rewriting the story

This isn’t a blame game, it’s a wake-up call. We all have a role to play.

Men, this isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about consistent presence. Raise your children. Share the household load. Show up not as a favour, but as your responsibility. Being a man isn’t just about providing financially, it’s about showing up emotionally and practically, too.

Women, we must also lead. Speak up about your needs. Set boundaries. Model shared responsibility. Raise children who value care, equity, and emotional presence. Let’s raise sons who know nurturing is strength, and daughters who know love should never mean exhaustion.

A cultural shift

We need a culture where partnership is expected and where rest is a right, not a luxury. Let’s stop praising mothers only when they suffer and start supporting them so they thrive. At home, share chores and emotional labour. At work, push for flexible schedules and parental leave for both parents. In policy, invest in maternal mental health and finally value unpaid care work.

Because love is not proven through suffering. It’s proven through respect, shared responsibility, and action.

And finally, to all mothers

To every woman raising children, whether biological, adopted, or by circumstance. To single mothers, grandmothers, aunties, caregivers, and fathers who mother with love and presence: you are seen, you are needed, you are everything. You deserve more than one day of celebration. You deserve rest, equity, and joy every single day.

And to the rest of us sons, daughters, husbands, wives, and communities, let’s honour mothers not just with flowers, but with fairness. Not just with words, but with action. Not just on Mother’s Day, but every day that follows.

About the Author

Sandra Kirenga is an Economist and Trade & Development Specialist with over 18 years of experience in the UK and Africa, focused on private sector growth, gender inclusion, and strategic partnerships. She advocates for/trains women in leadership, networking, and emerging skills like AI, championing empowerment through knowledge and opportunity.