Survivors of domestic abuse deal with a long road to recovery.

Some may never get over the fear and heartbreak. One such woman is Zam Zam Nabatanzi of Nakyesanja Zone, Nabweru Division in Wakiso district.

Nabatanzi says her husband’s cruelty escalated from mental abuse that turned physical after she failed to bear children.  

“He was very charming, very funny. He was, in my words, would say he was awesome,” Nabatanzi said. "People would think we were perfectly happy, you know, like, living the dream,” she said.

The dream didn’t last

“Two years into our marriage, I failed to conceive and the physical violence started. The first time was a shove. He would start fights. When he would start yelling," she said she would try to walk away, but it would only escalate his need for control over her."

“He would block the bedroom door, stalk me, trap me, and I was too afraid to call the police. When I met him I was strong, confident, and had a lot of friends, but he didn’t want me to see my family, or do things with my friends. He was secretly going behind my back and telling my family that I was crazy, and needed medication, but my family didn’t believe him. They knew it didn’t sound like me.”

After years of abuse, Nabatanzi filed a case of domestic violence against her husband at Kawanda Police Station. The Police officer in charge of Kawanda Police Station Arafat Kato confirmed that Nabatanzi had indeed filed a complaint of domestic violence against her husband.

“I reported to the Police for justice. However, my husband was never prosecuted in the courts of law," Nabatanzi said. "The police told me they would summon him.  He was summoned as promised but when he arrived at the station, he started chatting and laughing with the Police officers. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed and worthless. He knew the Police officers since he is well connected, and they did nothing to him and worst of all, he was not even cautioned."

Heartbroken and terrified, Nabatanzi said she no longer felt safe in her marital home

“I never thought I would ever be terrified of someone I loved,” she said. "Out of fear for my life, I called my brother and cried for his help. I asked to be saved from the torture. My brother Abdul Sebankyaye advised me to hang in there as looks for a solution. He confessed that he and my family did not come to our house because they were afraid of my husband who warned them never to step foot in his house without his permission and presence. With the help of my brother, I fled our marital home for a safer place. I hope one day I get justice for all he did to me."

Domestic violence is the most common type of gender-based violence in Uganda and takes many forms, including physical threats, physical beatings, sexual violence, family neglect, verbal abuse, femicide, or killing of a woman because of her gender. There were 17,698 reported cases in 2020 compared to 17,533 in 2021, according to a Police report.

According to a social worker, Sharon Nakyanzi childlessness is a cultural aberration in sub-Saharan Africa and widely unacceptable in most African communities. She said in many communities in Uganda, childless women often suffer serious social and economic disadvantages and sometimes face outright discrimination, humiliation, and condemnation.

"Women are the only ones held responsible when a couple can't bear a child. This usually comes with hostility and resentment. Secondly, childlessness is a sure sign that a woman is worthless," Nakyanzi said.

She added that the social stigma that comes with childlessness has led many women into depression and suicide. All because they are treated as lesser beings, or incomplete.