FATHER'S DAY | PARENTING | NYONGESA

I feel happy that my son has grown bigger. By the way, he turned three years last month. If it was not for the closure of schools due to COVID-19, he would now be in school,” Davis Nyongesa, a single father to Elvis, says.

Often, caring for young children, more so babies, has never been a cup of tea for many young men, especially after they separate with their spouses.

However, Nyongesa, the proprietor of Davis Unisex Salon in Wandegeya, Kampala, defied the odds. He has been raising his son single-handedly since he was a year old.

Nyongesa separated from his wife in December 2019 after their relationship turned sour. He says his wife walked out of their marital home when their son was 11 months old.

Nyongesa did not abandon his son or take him to his parents’ home. He instead decided to take care of him because he realised the tender baby needed his care and attention the most. 

His decision has cost him a lot, but he does not regret it. For instance, Nyongesa had to give up some of his social activities, such as hanging out with friends in the evening and over the weekend, to create time for the baby.

“My baby was very young and he needed parental care, so, I had to postpone my social activities until he is grown,” he notes. 

Nyongesa separated with his wife in December 2019 after their relationship turned sour. He says his wife walked out of their marital home when their son was 11 months old.

He also gave up his mobile salon trips that required him to travel to distant places to work on clients. He instead resorted to commuting with his son to work at his salon in Wandegeya and returning home early with him.

Nyongesa says he did not find challenges nursing the baby right from the start, such as changing his diapers, washing and preparing his meals, because he was babysitting him much earlier before he separated with his wife. 

He says he does not regret devoting his time and energy to caring for his son.

It is a memorable experience and he loves to see his son grow. He is also learning to understand him better while bonding with him.  Occasionally, Nyongesa has had sleepless nights when the child was sick.

He recalls the night his baby developed a high temperature and convulsions. Luckily, his neighbour was supportive and they rushed him to a nearby clinic.

To juggle work and babysitting comfortably, Nyongesa has had to draw a schedule. His day starts at 5:00am and before he goes to bed, he has to clean all his feeding utensils.

Upon waking up, he quickly washes the baby’s clothes and prepares his meals before they can leave for work.

Nyongesa, who resides in Kagoma, Wakiso district, makes it a point to be at his salon by 9:00am to attend to his clients.

His friends have tried to discourage him, while others have advised him to take the baby to his parents, but in vain. He has remained focused on taking care of his son and he is enjoying the whole experience of fatherhood.

After COVID-19 hit, Nyongesa could not continue commuting to work with his son for fear of exposing him to the deadly virus. He now leaves the baby in the care of his young sister, who is currently in her Primary Seven vacation.

All the same, Nyongesa ensures to return home early to attend to his son.

Advice to young fathers

“What mothers can do, fathers can do better,” Nyongesa says. He advises young fathers not to shun the responsibility of taking care of their children, especially after they separate from their spouses.

“Children do not need a lot of money to grow. They can grow to their full potential with limited resources,” he says.

Nyongesa says taking part in parenting roles enables a parent to understand their children better, not forgetting to love and bond with them more.