My cousin's husband impregnated me

 

I went to spend holidays at my cousin's home. It was around that time when they were having marital problems and I had also lost my boyfriend.

 

In the process, her husband and I began a sexual relationship which was not serious; unfortunately, I got pregnant. 

 

I disclosed my secret to my mother, who burst into tears, telling me that history had repeated itself because it is the same way she got pregnant with me.  She revealed that my father was her cousin's husband and since then she has never been successful in any relationship, which explains why I'm an only child.

 

I have tried several times to abort but I find myself postponing the appointment with the doctor for fear of becoming a murderer. 

 

Though the father of my baby accepted the pregnancy and promised to take care of us, I am so distressed because of the situation and besides, I don't love him.  

 

The thought of my family members' reaction when they find out scares me and I'm afraid of ending up like my mother.

 

What should I do?