Mama is ruining our marriage
Oct 03, 2013
We have been married for seven years and we have children. Our first misunderstanding in the marriage arose from my in-laws, especially my mother-in-law.
We have been married for seven years and we have children. Our first misunderstanding in the marriage arose from my in-laws, especially my mother-in-law.
She had turned ours into her second home. My wife was happy with it, yet I was inconvenienced because in our culture, mothers-in-law and sons-in-law are not supposed to interact closely.
When we were still living in a single-bedroomed house, my mother-in-law would visit for three to five days.
She would sleep in the sitting room. Every morning, I had to jump over her to get out of the house, which made me uncomfortable.
I shared my concern with my wife and she talked to mama. The frequency of the visits reduced.
However, when we shifted to a two-bedroomed house, mama resumed visiting frequently. This time she had habits such as planting juju (charms) in our flowers and putting concoctions in my wife’s bath water, according to my maid.
We are now living in our own house and mama goes to our bedroom when I am at work. I told my wife I was uncomfortable with mama entering our room, as well as cooking and serving our food.
In a hostile tone, she responded that ever since we constructed our house, I had become arrogant.
Recently, late in the night, mama took my wife for a bath on the veranda behind our bedroom and also planted juju around the house.
I suspect my mother-in-law and my wife are practising witchcraft.
Besides, I was forced to record voices of how plans were hatched to bury juju around the house, from an interview with one of my employees in the home, just in case something happens to me because of this act.
I have also heard that my wife says if I am uncomfortable with her mother, she would evict me from the house and ask her to come and live with her.
My wife has always attempted to bring mama to live with us, under the guise of taking care of her grandchildren, but I have always downplayed it and instead employed maids to do the job.
My wife does not seem to understand my fears, yet I am worried and stressed about the issue of burying charms around our home.
One time when mama visited, she carried a plant from the village and gave it to our builders to plant before we finished the house, which made me suspicious.
I love my wife and our success is a result of combined efforts with her. I also respect mama and would be happy if she also respected me and my culture.
I would be happy if she let us build our marriage without her interference.
I am a Christian and do not believe in witchcraft. I have always preferred to talk to mama through my wife.
However, I am contemplating confronting her or ask my parents to talk to her. I am so stressed by these issues to the extent that my productivity at work has reduced.
Saul, worried husband