Seeking to be a virgin again

 

“When are you having sex next?’’ Senga Joyce, as she is popularly known by traders within Majestic plaza, asked without a care that there were people within hearing distance.

 

 Almost in a whisper I coyly replied: “In about two weeks time.” She responded, “Use this powder at most two hours before sex.”

 

She continued with the instructions, in the same tone to my dismay, unbothered that there were eavesdroppers.

 “After you take a bath and have dried yourself up, dip your middle finger into water, then dip that same finger into this powder.

 

Spread your legs and insert the finger into your private parts. Lay down for about 15 minutes because if you get up immediately, some of it will be wasted because it will seep down to your panties.”

 

Earlier in the day, I had called up senga Joyce, to inquire whether she had the medicine that would make my private parts tighter. 

 

I made up a story that after giving birth two months earlier, my I had become wider and my partner was uncomfortable, and less interested in sex, lately.

 

On getting to her shop, I greeted her and told her I was the one who called earlier. 

However, I had to explain all over again what I wanted because she said she received numerous calls from her clients, and could not recall the details of the conversation.

 

After once again explaining my dilemma, she asked for sh12,500. With that sum of money, I at least expected a well packaged paper bag or tin of medicine.

 

However, she reached for a huge faded container that once contained Dark and Lovely hair cream, scooped half a handful of the chalk-like powder, poured it onto a creased piece of paper, folded it and handed it to me.

 

Surprised, I asked her what the contents of the powder were, how sure she was that I would not react adversely to them, and whether they would work after all. 

 

She said the contents were a secret she would not divulge.  

“If I tell you the contents, you might become my competitor. But you will not react to the powder and you will get positive results to the extent that you will refer your friends to me,” she assured me.

 

She then asked me to write my name in a blue hard cover book, because she loved keeping her clients’ names and phone contacts. 

 

 I was number 737. She explained to me that each new client recorded their name and phone number. 

I suggested that being a first timer and really skeptical about the powder, I should randomly pick three numbers from the book and call them up to ask whether her powder did wonders as she claimed. 

 

Indeed when I called them, they were in praise of the powder. 

One excitedly said, “My husband is abroad and whenever he returns I use it and he does not want us to get out of bed because he feels like he is sleeping with a virgin.”

 

While I had to brave the extremely busy and uncomfortable environment downtown to find Senga Joyce, there are corporate girls who barely have time to do the same, so they organise meetings at their homes and invite the sengas.

 

Cynthia Nakyeyune, a legal assistant says, “I attended an interesting meeting at my friend’s house, where the senga sold us a greenish powder for vaginal tightening. She told us to pour a handful of it into a basin full of water and sit in it at least once a month so we could always feel like virgins to our husbands. I have used it once and it works.”

 

Simon Male, a married telecom engineer says that much as his wife has not used any herbs or medicines, he would like her to, as long as they have no impact on her health.

 

“Sex is a very important factor in a marriage and if it can be made more enjoyable, why not?”

Similarly, Martin Mudega, a married salesman says, “I compare sex to a football match. If a player’s purchase of new shoes guarantees goals, why not buy the shoes? In the same way, if her use of these products will make us enjoy sex more, I am in for it!”

 

However, not all men are excited about the tightening and Richard Mugisha, a married human resource officer says: “I think the excitement about the vaginal tightening for sex has been over glorified and may be considered overrated. 

“A husband who would have serious issues with his wife’s loss of ‘tightness’ would have married majorly for sex, which is absurd.”

 

He adds: “Marriage should be for companionship, raising a family and love. Sex is also an important ingredient. However, like all things natural, with time women change - face, breast firmness, skin complexion and tightness. We simply have to live with it. Partners should appreciate each other and take time to talk about each other’s concerns and fears.”

But Charles Lumala, a salesman, disagrees. 

 

He says that just like one goes to the salon to look good for their partner or to the gym to get physically fit, improvements are necessary, given the fact that sex is crucial in marriage. 

 

“When such situations arise, the couple needs to discuss and seek solutions because they have to strive to keep the fire burning. 

 

Just like weight lifting or muscle building exercises, kegel exercises take time to make a difference. You can do kegels discreetly, anywhere, whether stuck in traffic, or sitting at your desk at work.

 

Mary (not real name), a personal assistant, testifies, “I had no experience with senga products but once my friends invited me to a girls’ evening talk. 

 

“There were corporate girls and there was a senga who had products on sale. One friend who bought one for tightening told me it works but by then I had no plans of using the products so I didn’t follow up. What I know and do are the kegel exercises. They are excellent.”

 

Godfrey Aliya, a gynaecologist and obstetrician at Mulago Hospital, discourages the use of vaginal tightening using herbs and drugs, which he says destabilise the balance of bacteria in the vagina and increase the chances of infection.

 

“In the vagina is a delicate balance of bacteria. We have the bad and good bacteria. However, these chemicals may interrupt the balance and multiply the bad bacteria.”

 

He continues that they may increase the chances of infection for example pelvic inflammatory diseases, which lead to infertility.

 

He warns that all those substances including sitting in a basin full of coca cola, washing powder and the like are corrosive and with long term use, one risks developing ovarian cancer.

 

“Medically, it is not advisable for one to apply any cream, herb, medicines, liquid or powder and similar substances to their vagina for tightening. Do not introduce anything into the vagina if it has not been prescribed by a professional medical person.”

 

Aliya notes that for vaginal tightening, particular exercises and surgery, especially after natural child birth are the only ways medically advised.  During childbirth, the pelvic floor muscles, the muscles that are stretched during natural childbirth. Kegel exercises strengthen and make these muscles more elastic, which improves sexual pleasure. 

 

Aliya explains that a woman can trace the pelvic floor muscles during a short call.

“Without using your hands, clench your muscles to stop the flow of urine, for about four seconds. Release those muscles to let out the urine. Those are the muscles you will exercise during the kegel exercises.”

 

Do these exercises about ten times a day, ten times a session. Unlike the substances from sengas, kegel exercises will not give you results within two hours, and can take up to eight to ten weeks to notice improvement. Nonetheless, they are safe and will not expose you to infection.