Relationships- Why propose to me in public?
Mar 25, 2010
IT is a monumental and personal step in any romantic relationship; the day you ask the woman of your dreams to become your wife. But more people today are inclined to propose with a grand gesture like a public proposal, the kind we only used to read about in novels or see in movies
IT is a monumental and personal step in any romantic relationship; the day you ask the woman of your dreams to become your wife. But more people today are inclined to propose with a grand gesture like a public proposal, the kind we only used to read about in novels or see in movies, writes Carol Kezaabu
LIKE a scene from a movie, I watched my boyfriend get down on one knee before our friends and family and he popped the question: ‘Will you marry me?’†Jenny says. Her boyfriend, Trevor, invited both their friends to a surprise birthday dinner for her at Serena Hotel.
At the end of the dinner, everyone was asked to say something great about the birthday girl. When it was his turn, Trevor got down on one knee and proposed.
“I was surprised, no, shocked. I had expected him to propose soon but not publicly. I was happy, but to date, I still wonder what would have happened if I had turned down his proposal.â€
It is a monumental step in any relationship; the day you ask the woman of your dreams to become your wife. More people are inclined to propose with a grand gesture like a public proposal.
These days when your friend announces that she is engaged, the first question many people ask is “how did he do it?â€
It is no longer a private affair where people decide between themselves and immediate family to get married. The whole marriage process has become this big elaborate affair and the proposal and engagement is no exception.
It is up to the man to make this grand gesture to the woman he loves and wishes to make his wife. Men have gone to the extent of asking restaurant and hotel employees to hide rings in ice cream, cake or inside a glass of champagne meant for their girlfriends.
People are spending a lot of money on planning the perfect proposal. The kind of ring is a big deal too; the bigger the diamond, the better.
Deborah says when she threw her boyfriend a surprise birthday party, she did not expect him to propose.
“I guess his friends told him I was planning a surprise party, so he decided to surprise me, too. After we cut the cake and everyone was having a wonderful time, he suddenly stopped right in the middle of the room, went down on one knee and proposed.
“He is not a romantic guy or even affectionate in public so that is what shocked me the most but he made a moving speech as tears welled up in his eyes. I was so touched.â€
But one wonders if there are ulterior motives behind a public proposal. Is it a kind of arm-twisting gig so that she does not say ‘no’ for fear of embarrassing him?
What better way to get a positive response if you are having doubts about your partner’s feelings? Once the deed is done, she most likely will not have the courage to break up with you after all you accepted publicly.
Some people cannot stand being put on the spot like that, so you have to be careful how you propose.
You do not want to be that guy kneeling in the middle of a restaurant as your girlfriend flees through the door in tears because she cannot give you the answer you want.
Timothy says he has seen two guys get turned down by their girlfriends and it was a mess. It is one thing if she turns you down in private but how do you get over such public humiliation?
Diana says she finds the public proposal a turn-off. “I am not shy, but I feel that the proposal should be a private moment between a man and woman, not a big hullabaloo among friends.
I want him to tell me how he feels without the whole world standing there, watching and judging. You have the wedding process to share with family and friends, so I think the proposal should be intimate.â€
Most Ugandans from the older generation do not seem to comprehend this new trend. Jack, 58, whose 27-year-old daughter got married recently, says this trend of grand gestures is copied from the Western world and is uncalled for.
“Someone either loves you or they don’t. You don’t need the whole world to validate that love. My wife and I grew up in the same village and things happened naturally.
When the time came for us to be married, we told our families and then got on with the marriage preparations.
I don’t understand these young people and the need to have big parties and engagement rings.
We had to throw a party for my daughter recently when she got engaged. We still had the introduction functions to finance and the wedding.â€
Before you make such grand gestures, you need to be sure that she wants the same thing or is ready like you are.
The proposal can be memorable without being public and strenuous.
Take her to a special place that is important to her or that is significant to your relationship. If you are worried about her saying ‘no’, you should not propose.
The most important thing is that you tell her how you feel and why you want to spend the rest of your life with her.
For comments, SMS weekender (space) your comment and send to 8338 (Valid fo rMTN, Zain, utl and Warid subscribers
LIKE a scene from a movie, I watched my boyfriend get down on one knee before our friends and family and he popped the question: ‘Will you marry me?’†Jenny says. Her boyfriend, Trevor, invited both their friends to a surprise birthday dinner for her at Serena Hotel.
At the end of the dinner, everyone was asked to say something great about the birthday girl. When it was his turn, Trevor got down on one knee and proposed.
“I was surprised, no, shocked. I had expected him to propose soon but not publicly. I was happy, but to date, I still wonder what would have happened if I had turned down his proposal.â€
It is a monumental step in any relationship; the day you ask the woman of your dreams to become your wife. More people are inclined to propose with a grand gesture like a public proposal.
These days when your friend announces that she is engaged, the first question many people ask is “how did he do it?â€
It is no longer a private affair where people decide between themselves and immediate family to get married. The whole marriage process has become this big elaborate affair and the proposal and engagement is no exception.
It is up to the man to make this grand gesture to the woman he loves and wishes to make his wife. Men have gone to the extent of asking restaurant and hotel employees to hide rings in ice cream, cake or inside a glass of champagne meant for their girlfriends.
People are spending a lot of money on planning the perfect proposal. The kind of ring is a big deal too; the bigger the diamond, the better.
Deborah says when she threw her boyfriend a surprise birthday party, she did not expect him to propose.
“I guess his friends told him I was planning a surprise party, so he decided to surprise me, too. After we cut the cake and everyone was having a wonderful time, he suddenly stopped right in the middle of the room, went down on one knee and proposed.
“He is not a romantic guy or even affectionate in public so that is what shocked me the most but he made a moving speech as tears welled up in his eyes. I was so touched.â€
But one wonders if there are ulterior motives behind a public proposal. Is it a kind of arm-twisting gig so that she does not say ‘no’ for fear of embarrassing him?
What better way to get a positive response if you are having doubts about your partner’s feelings? Once the deed is done, she most likely will not have the courage to break up with you after all you accepted publicly.
Some people cannot stand being put on the spot like that, so you have to be careful how you propose.
You do not want to be that guy kneeling in the middle of a restaurant as your girlfriend flees through the door in tears because she cannot give you the answer you want.
Timothy says he has seen two guys get turned down by their girlfriends and it was a mess. It is one thing if she turns you down in private but how do you get over such public humiliation?
Diana says she finds the public proposal a turn-off. “I am not shy, but I feel that the proposal should be a private moment between a man and woman, not a big hullabaloo among friends.
I want him to tell me how he feels without the whole world standing there, watching and judging. You have the wedding process to share with family and friends, so I think the proposal should be intimate.â€
Most Ugandans from the older generation do not seem to comprehend this new trend. Jack, 58, whose 27-year-old daughter got married recently, says this trend of grand gestures is copied from the Western world and is uncalled for.
“Someone either loves you or they don’t. You don’t need the whole world to validate that love. My wife and I grew up in the same village and things happened naturally.
When the time came for us to be married, we told our families and then got on with the marriage preparations.
I don’t understand these young people and the need to have big parties and engagement rings.
We had to throw a party for my daughter recently when she got engaged. We still had the introduction functions to finance and the wedding.â€
Before you make such grand gestures, you need to be sure that she wants the same thing or is ready like you are.
The proposal can be memorable without being public and strenuous.
Take her to a special place that is important to her or that is significant to your relationship. If you are worried about her saying ‘no’, you should not propose.
The most important thing is that you tell her how you feel and why you want to spend the rest of your life with her.
For comments, SMS weekender (space) your comment and send to 8338 (Valid fo rMTN, Zain, utl and Warid subscribers