Does taking me on a date give you the right to touch me?
Mar 26, 2010
GRACE had prepared for this date for a week. She excitedly told her roommates how marvellous it was going to be. Come D-day, she dressed to the nines and Mr. Handsome took her out. Fast forward to the end of the evening, Grace returned to her room looking disgusted.
by Angela Ndagano
GRACE had prepared for this date for a week. She excitedly told her roommates how marvellous it was going to be. Come D-day, she dressed to the nines and Mr. Handsome took her out.
Fast forward to the end of the evening, Grace returned to her room looking disgusted.
And then the tirade began. “That gu man should be sued for sexual harassment … he was touching my thighs throughout the dinner, yet he looked like a gentleman,†she cried as mascara-filled tears run down her cheeks.
Grace was another victim of ‘Mr. Can’t-keep-his-hands-to-himself’.
This begs the question, why should a man touch a woman he is not intimate with? Why would he put his arm around her waist, touch her thighs, hug her or tap her bum?
Lust
At times touching a woman he does not know, is a reflection of a man’s lustful thoughts. In fact, on a date, while the woman is dreaming about becoming a man’s wife, all he is thinking about is how to get her into bed. The touch is his way of showing his intentions.
“What ladies should understand is that when a guy is meeting you for the first time, he is driven by lust; don’t be surprised by the way he behaves,†says Juma Okwir, an IT specialist.
 Grace Kugonza concurs. According to her, men who do that only want sex. “A man who touches you wants to arouse you so that he can have sex with you.â€
Is she dating material?
Men touch women in uncomfortable places to determine whether she is a keeper or not.
The women who do not seem to be bothered are seen as loose and cannot make good girlfriends.
Richard Mwesige, an engineer, insists that touching is one way of testing a woman’s character. “Men do this to test a woman. If she is not offended by the touching; they conclude that she is loose.â€
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Alcohol and money
As always, alcohol is one of the culprits for such lewd acts. Some men go on a women-groping spree when they are drunk because at that time, they supposedly lose their senses and their hands develop a mind of their own.
Other men also believe that if they are spending their cash on a woman, they should be rewarded. To defend their behaviour, such men say: ‘My money cannot go like that’.
The Nature of a man
There is a saying that an African’s eyes are in his hands. So, men will always use their hands to ‘see’ what a woman has to offer. Sometimes the way women dress worsens the situation; they leave nothing to imagination, thus tempting men to touch.
What gives him the nerve to touch her?
Prossy Nansinyama, business woman
Such people are illiterate. An educated person cannot do such a thing.
B. Katusiime, depot manager, Crown Brewages
Men are weak; they are easily taken up by sight. So, they always want to satisfy that by touching.
Jackson Isabirye, Bodaboda rider
When you touch a woman, she gets sexually aroused.
Richard Bisaso, musician
Men are driven by lust.
Ken Kitaka, video editor, Media Africa
Men are unsatisfied naturally; they need to ‘feel’ different types of women.
Nancy Laker, student
Men like that just want to use you.
David Jowoko, security guard
Touching women like that is against the law. However, the places women go to, matter. If she goes to a bar, she will meet drunken men, who may touch her.
GRACE had prepared for this date for a week. She excitedly told her roommates how marvellous it was going to be. Come D-day, she dressed to the nines and Mr. Handsome took her out.
Fast forward to the end of the evening, Grace returned to her room looking disgusted.
And then the tirade began. “That gu man should be sued for sexual harassment … he was touching my thighs throughout the dinner, yet he looked like a gentleman,†she cried as mascara-filled tears run down her cheeks.
Grace was another victim of ‘Mr. Can’t-keep-his-hands-to-himself’.
This begs the question, why should a man touch a woman he is not intimate with? Why would he put his arm around her waist, touch her thighs, hug her or tap her bum?
Lust
At times touching a woman he does not know, is a reflection of a man’s lustful thoughts. In fact, on a date, while the woman is dreaming about becoming a man’s wife, all he is thinking about is how to get her into bed. The touch is his way of showing his intentions.
“What ladies should understand is that when a guy is meeting you for the first time, he is driven by lust; don’t be surprised by the way he behaves,†says Juma Okwir, an IT specialist.
 Grace Kugonza concurs. According to her, men who do that only want sex. “A man who touches you wants to arouse you so that he can have sex with you.â€
Is she dating material?
Men touch women in uncomfortable places to determine whether she is a keeper or not.
The women who do not seem to be bothered are seen as loose and cannot make good girlfriends.
Richard Mwesige, an engineer, insists that touching is one way of testing a woman’s character. “Men do this to test a woman. If she is not offended by the touching; they conclude that she is loose.â€
Â
Alcohol and money
As always, alcohol is one of the culprits for such lewd acts. Some men go on a women-groping spree when they are drunk because at that time, they supposedly lose their senses and their hands develop a mind of their own.
Other men also believe that if they are spending their cash on a woman, they should be rewarded. To defend their behaviour, such men say: ‘My money cannot go like that’.
The Nature of a man
There is a saying that an African’s eyes are in his hands. So, men will always use their hands to ‘see’ what a woman has to offer. Sometimes the way women dress worsens the situation; they leave nothing to imagination, thus tempting men to touch.
What gives him the nerve to touch her?
Prossy Nansinyama, business woman
Such people are illiterate. An educated person cannot do such a thing.
B. Katusiime, depot manager, Crown Brewages
Men are weak; they are easily taken up by sight. So, they always want to satisfy that by touching.
Jackson Isabirye, Bodaboda rider
When you touch a woman, she gets sexually aroused.
Richard Bisaso, musician
Men are driven by lust.
Ken Kitaka, video editor, Media Africa
Men are unsatisfied naturally; they need to ‘feel’ different types of women.
Nancy Laker, student
Men like that just want to use you.
David Jowoko, security guard
Touching women like that is against the law. However, the places women go to, matter. If she goes to a bar, she will meet drunken men, who may touch her.