I Would Never Represent Uganda!
Oct 27, 2003
In my athletic career, I have won two gold medals –– one at the Olympic games, the other at the European Championships.
By Timothy Bukumunhe
In my athletic career, I have won two gold medals –– one at the Olympic games, the other at the European Championships. I have also triumphed at Wimbledon and scored the winning goal for Premiership giants Arsenal in the football cup final against rivals Manchester United.
After all my successes, I have not only returned home a hero, I have also been received at State House by the first family who wanted to know more about my exploits over tea and biscuits. Then the dream faded and I woke up! We all have had a passion at some stage during our lives to go out there and proudly represent our country Uganda –– be it at a foreign sporting event, the United Nations or with the army abroad.
Who wouldn’t want to be seen clad in a navy blue sports blazer, brown slacks, white straw hat and leading the Ugandan team out into one of the best stadiums Europe has to offer while proudly carrying the flag?
And during the event of a world crisis, who wouldn’t want to continually have their face beamed across the globe on CNN, Sky News and the BBC as the delegate whose cool level-headedness averted the outbreak of World War III?
And when it came to donning UPDF battle fatigues, would we say no to a picture of ourselves on the cover of Time or Newsweek Magazine as we planned the battle whilst Generals Norman Schwartzkoph and Colin Powell looked on? But in reality, just about everything that has to do with representing Uganda is a disaster. In fact it is an absolute sham!
At the end of September just before our athletes flew out for the 2003 All Africa Games in Abuja, Nigeria, everything was a mess. To boost their morale, the National Council of Sports saw it fit to treat them to meals in shanty kiosks opposite Jinja road police station. And the menu itself was hardly the sort one would feed an All Africa Games bound athlete –– meat and at times rice? And if they wanted a drink, the athletes had to squeeze the passion juice themselves!
Not only have some of our athletes had to buy their own kit, one athlete has had to make do with spiked shoes meant for a different sport all together. And to cap it all, they don’t even have a decent attire to wear to the opening ceremony! What also irked me about the Abuja squad, is, the athletes who do all the hard work only got an allowance of $25 a day while the officials awarded themselves a hefty $50 a day.
Putting it into perspective, would anybody want to get into the boxing ring say against Mike Tyson for a pay check of $2m? And on the other hand, your manager who is sitting ringside in a silk suit and drinking champagne is picking up $4m yet you are the one who is one step away from being rendered brain dead by Tyson’s punches?
Some two years ago, the She Kobs lost a vital football match in South Africa because they had not eaten. Apparently, they didn’t have any money to buy lunch.
Why would I want to go and represent my country abroad when the authorities can’t even provide me with the basic necessities? Again at the end of September, former Kampala Mayoral aspirant, Wasswa Birigwa after months languishing on the party scene in Kampala finally flew out to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to take up his post as Ambassador.
Ambassadors so I figure is a life of perks –– fat allowances, cocktail parties, sleek chauffeur driven Mercedes Benz cars and duty free shopping.
But if Uganda can’t even pay the bills of it’s flag ship missions in London, New York and Washington, what does that mean for Birigwa’s Ethiopian Mission?
If anything, all Birigwa will be carrying in his diplomatic pouch is charcoal.
For I can almost see his wife, Yogi slaving away on a sigiri as she attempts to cook a goat luwumbo and matooke to feed diplomatic guests at the cocktail her husband is throwing. She has to do it because the embassy won’t be able to afford the staff.
And sometime back, somebody somewhere at military headquarters in Bombo decided that Uganda ought to send some troops to Iraq to represent us. Had I been the military man in charge of that contingent, I would have been mortified at the thought of walking off a DAS Air cargo plane (the solitary C-130 has been retired due to lack of funds) in ill-fitting Chinese supplied battle fatigues, green UPDF issue gum boots and a cheap suitcase picked up from Luwum Street or an empty Kimbo box to store my belongings.
In contrast, the American, British and Australian troops would descend from giant troop carriers, large enough even to accommodate the DAS Air cargo plane, the troops uniforms fit well, they wear proper jungle boots as opposed to gum boots and they have the proper army issue duffel bags.
I am not about to go out there and represent Uganda. I can’t because if anything, I am embarrassed on behalf of Uganda.
I am embarrassed because as a nation we don’t give a hoot whenever we send our representatives and flag bearers abroad.
And I am embarrassed because as Uganda we feel no shame! And on the coat of arms, rather than having the inscription that reads for ‘For God and My Country’ it ought to be changed to ‘Naked We Send Our People Abroad!’
Ends
In my athletic career, I have won two gold medals –– one at the Olympic games, the other at the European Championships. I have also triumphed at Wimbledon and scored the winning goal for Premiership giants Arsenal in the football cup final against rivals Manchester United.
After all my successes, I have not only returned home a hero, I have also been received at State House by the first family who wanted to know more about my exploits over tea and biscuits. Then the dream faded and I woke up! We all have had a passion at some stage during our lives to go out there and proudly represent our country Uganda –– be it at a foreign sporting event, the United Nations or with the army abroad.
Who wouldn’t want to be seen clad in a navy blue sports blazer, brown slacks, white straw hat and leading the Ugandan team out into one of the best stadiums Europe has to offer while proudly carrying the flag?
And during the event of a world crisis, who wouldn’t want to continually have their face beamed across the globe on CNN, Sky News and the BBC as the delegate whose cool level-headedness averted the outbreak of World War III?
And when it came to donning UPDF battle fatigues, would we say no to a picture of ourselves on the cover of Time or Newsweek Magazine as we planned the battle whilst Generals Norman Schwartzkoph and Colin Powell looked on? But in reality, just about everything that has to do with representing Uganda is a disaster. In fact it is an absolute sham!
At the end of September just before our athletes flew out for the 2003 All Africa Games in Abuja, Nigeria, everything was a mess. To boost their morale, the National Council of Sports saw it fit to treat them to meals in shanty kiosks opposite Jinja road police station. And the menu itself was hardly the sort one would feed an All Africa Games bound athlete –– meat and at times rice? And if they wanted a drink, the athletes had to squeeze the passion juice themselves!
Not only have some of our athletes had to buy their own kit, one athlete has had to make do with spiked shoes meant for a different sport all together. And to cap it all, they don’t even have a decent attire to wear to the opening ceremony! What also irked me about the Abuja squad, is, the athletes who do all the hard work only got an allowance of $25 a day while the officials awarded themselves a hefty $50 a day.
Putting it into perspective, would anybody want to get into the boxing ring say against Mike Tyson for a pay check of $2m? And on the other hand, your manager who is sitting ringside in a silk suit and drinking champagne is picking up $4m yet you are the one who is one step away from being rendered brain dead by Tyson’s punches?
Some two years ago, the She Kobs lost a vital football match in South Africa because they had not eaten. Apparently, they didn’t have any money to buy lunch.
Why would I want to go and represent my country abroad when the authorities can’t even provide me with the basic necessities? Again at the end of September, former Kampala Mayoral aspirant, Wasswa Birigwa after months languishing on the party scene in Kampala finally flew out to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to take up his post as Ambassador.
Ambassadors so I figure is a life of perks –– fat allowances, cocktail parties, sleek chauffeur driven Mercedes Benz cars and duty free shopping.
But if Uganda can’t even pay the bills of it’s flag ship missions in London, New York and Washington, what does that mean for Birigwa’s Ethiopian Mission?
If anything, all Birigwa will be carrying in his diplomatic pouch is charcoal.
For I can almost see his wife, Yogi slaving away on a sigiri as she attempts to cook a goat luwumbo and matooke to feed diplomatic guests at the cocktail her husband is throwing. She has to do it because the embassy won’t be able to afford the staff.
And sometime back, somebody somewhere at military headquarters in Bombo decided that Uganda ought to send some troops to Iraq to represent us. Had I been the military man in charge of that contingent, I would have been mortified at the thought of walking off a DAS Air cargo plane (the solitary C-130 has been retired due to lack of funds) in ill-fitting Chinese supplied battle fatigues, green UPDF issue gum boots and a cheap suitcase picked up from Luwum Street or an empty Kimbo box to store my belongings.
In contrast, the American, British and Australian troops would descend from giant troop carriers, large enough even to accommodate the DAS Air cargo plane, the troops uniforms fit well, they wear proper jungle boots as opposed to gum boots and they have the proper army issue duffel bags.
I am not about to go out there and represent Uganda. I can’t because if anything, I am embarrassed on behalf of Uganda.
I am embarrassed because as a nation we don’t give a hoot whenever we send our representatives and flag bearers abroad.
And I am embarrassed because as Uganda we feel no shame! And on the coat of arms, rather than having the inscription that reads for ‘For God and My Country’ it ought to be changed to ‘Naked We Send Our People Abroad!’
Ends