HIV & marrieds- Marriage was safe. What happened?

Jan 18, 2009

JOHN and Mary have been married for six years. John allegedly got involved in an extra-marital affair and on realising this, Mary decided to revenge by also engaging in an extra-marital affair.

By Masaba Wanalobi

JOHN and Mary have been married for six years. John allegedly got involved in an extra-marital affair and on realising this, Mary decided to revenge by also engaging in an extra-marital affair.

Worse still, Mary who was accustomed to having live sex with her husband, did not use protection. This couple was therefore, at a high risk of contracting HIV.

This practice is common and many spouses do it without considering the risks. The majority confess that it hurts to watch their partners cheat after investing so much into the relationship.

A study aimed at the better understanding of the epidemic reveals that this is the major cause of new infections. Many people are aware of how HIV is transmitted and the sources of infection, but where are we going wrong?

Revenge: It keeps this world alight with pain, war and chaos. But revenge is wasteful and destructive.

Moral degeneration: It is common for a man to have more than four sexual partners, including his wife. Today, many people marry for different reasons and for a specific period of time. Marriage is no longer a lifetime commitment.

Today, the situation has been made worse by the failure to distinguish between right and wrong. The moral teachings that forbid substituting a partner with another during conjugal rights is long forgotten.

Religious leaders need to intervene, otherwise the fight against the deadly disease will be rendered irrelevant.
The availability of antiretroviral drugs (ARVs) has improved the lives of many, but others have become complacent.

They forget that the drugs simply slow down the process of HIV, but do not cure it.

Our programmes and communication means need to be revised. What messages do we send out there? Who are we communicating with? Where do we find the recipients? Are they interested in the message and is it relevant?

Before you look for faults in others, have you played your part or done anything about the situation? So, stop and appraise yourself; see whether every time you talk about HIV/AIDS, you know what to say.

Do not blame others because you might also have a hand in the spread of HIV.
Ask yourself: Am I part of those to blame or can I be credited for any success? HIV/AIDS messages and communication is everyone’s responsibility.

Poverty: Depending on whether one has to be poor to be vulnerable to HIV is an issue. It is not true, however, that the disease spares the rich.

Experts have confirmed that extra-marital sex is increasing and is estimated at 29% among men and 3% among women. Yet condom use has decreased to 53% for men and only 12% for women.

This presents a challenge and complex phenomenon to us, but specifically to the people at the forefront of the fight against HIV/AIDS.

Failure to recognise the urgency of the problem is a threat to the success that the country has registered towards the fight against the disease.

Scientists say 46% of new infections will occur among individuals with multiple sexual partnerships.

The married couples alone will account for 43% of new HIV adult infections. This implies that marriage is no longer that safe haven as previously assumed.

We have also not adequately focused and prioritised our HIV prevention efforts.
Although the Government and its partners in the fight against HIV devise strategies, activities and polices that target the married, it should be emphasised that it is upon everyone to be responsible for their lives.

The writer is a SPH-CDC HIV Fellow attached to the Uganda AIDS Commission


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