Kiss your spouse, please
Sep 30, 2009
We were at the airport waiting for her husband. We decided by general consensus that since it was his first time to fly, she had to welcome him with a kiss.
We were at the airport waiting for her husband. We decided by general consensus that since it was his first time to fly, she had to welcome him with a kiss.
And so she did. But guess what. The guy took offence and accused the wife of attempting to embarrass him among his business colleagues!
End of the story. Saturday Vision had a story about a pastor who invited couples to Imperial Royale Hotel in Kampala and single handedly ‘embarrassed’ them. The American evangelist, Dr. Leo Godzick, was supposed to teach couples how to love each other in way that makes God smile. You see, with recent riots in the city, human sacrifices and NSSF plunder, the old man (God the Father) has allegedly not been happy and was last seen developing more wrinkles on Uganda only.
So Leo figures out that a marriage conference in Kampala would not be a bad idea. Couples came and closed their eyes in a holy prayer. Just after the Amen, which signifies the end of divine invocation, the time when the church begins to feel the Holy Spirit's presence, the evangelist pounced. He demanded that all participants kiss their partners.
Ho! Gasps! Swearing! Pandemonium! Those who obeyed the man of God fidgeted through the kiss quickly while others just pecked their partners on the cheek, shoulders or palms. The majority just watched in disbelief as brave ‘sinners’ dared. Apparently, kissing your spouse in public is not as easy as rioting before tear gas and armoured personnel carriers. It is actually still on the contraband list of many, most of whom have long abandoned it at home. And even if you hid them under the bed in the dark and promised them federo, they would still not kiss. But inside many of them is a trembling desire to be brave enough to steal the minute if only to satisfy a fantasy. That is why such an opportunity from outside may easily tempt a Sabamooli to rise within your marriage and claim status.
My standard reference, which has never disappointed me, is that every publicly kissing couple is either foreign, recently married or not married at all. There are exceptions where a rival may be in the vicinity and a statement has to be made.
But you may be at the cinema and the couple to your right suddenly pounces onto each other. I will not tell you not to look and disregard because I know if you could, you would. But you cannot. And it is really, really uncomfortable. But do you know why? Because you wish you could do it and you cannot. You are not that brave.
Yet it is not as risky as the Katikiro’s venture to cross Ssezibwa river into Kayunga. You do not have to travel outside our neighbourhood, be in a bar, nightclub or kimansulo to kiss the person the public knows to be your own. Our spouses are being snatched under our very gaze by people brave enough to steal a kiss in public. The risk arouses their adrenaline. No wonder our forefathers say stolen water is sweeter?
I can hear someone talk of alien practice and African values! Thanks a lot for the reminder. But how native is your wedding cake? Is it ‘African values’ for leaders we esteem so highly to sneak in the NSSF granary and steal people’s savings?
It is a shame people want to throw stones at a kissing couple when the looting rioter is hailed as culturally astute patriot. Don’t you think I am tired of all this pretences?
And so she did. But guess what. The guy took offence and accused the wife of attempting to embarrass him among his business colleagues!
End of the story. Saturday Vision had a story about a pastor who invited couples to Imperial Royale Hotel in Kampala and single handedly ‘embarrassed’ them. The American evangelist, Dr. Leo Godzick, was supposed to teach couples how to love each other in way that makes God smile. You see, with recent riots in the city, human sacrifices and NSSF plunder, the old man (God the Father) has allegedly not been happy and was last seen developing more wrinkles on Uganda only.
So Leo figures out that a marriage conference in Kampala would not be a bad idea. Couples came and closed their eyes in a holy prayer. Just after the Amen, which signifies the end of divine invocation, the time when the church begins to feel the Holy Spirit's presence, the evangelist pounced. He demanded that all participants kiss their partners.
Ho! Gasps! Swearing! Pandemonium! Those who obeyed the man of God fidgeted through the kiss quickly while others just pecked their partners on the cheek, shoulders or palms. The majority just watched in disbelief as brave ‘sinners’ dared. Apparently, kissing your spouse in public is not as easy as rioting before tear gas and armoured personnel carriers. It is actually still on the contraband list of many, most of whom have long abandoned it at home. And even if you hid them under the bed in the dark and promised them federo, they would still not kiss. But inside many of them is a trembling desire to be brave enough to steal the minute if only to satisfy a fantasy. That is why such an opportunity from outside may easily tempt a Sabamooli to rise within your marriage and claim status.
My standard reference, which has never disappointed me, is that every publicly kissing couple is either foreign, recently married or not married at all. There are exceptions where a rival may be in the vicinity and a statement has to be made.
But you may be at the cinema and the couple to your right suddenly pounces onto each other. I will not tell you not to look and disregard because I know if you could, you would. But you cannot. And it is really, really uncomfortable. But do you know why? Because you wish you could do it and you cannot. You are not that brave.
Yet it is not as risky as the Katikiro’s venture to cross Ssezibwa river into Kayunga. You do not have to travel outside our neighbourhood, be in a bar, nightclub or kimansulo to kiss the person the public knows to be your own. Our spouses are being snatched under our very gaze by people brave enough to steal a kiss in public. The risk arouses their adrenaline. No wonder our forefathers say stolen water is sweeter?
I can hear someone talk of alien practice and African values! Thanks a lot for the reminder. But how native is your wedding cake? Is it ‘African values’ for leaders we esteem so highly to sneak in the NSSF granary and steal people’s savings?
It is a shame people want to throw stones at a kissing couple when the looting rioter is hailed as culturally astute patriot. Don’t you think I am tired of all this pretences?