Why would a woman fail to take ownership of her marital home?
Nov 06, 2009
Possessive husband: Some husbands keep referring to ‘my things’, ‘my home’. And when talking about the home of his wife’s parents, they say ‘your home’. Whenever there is a quarrel they say: “Go back to your home, woman! I won’t accept t
Possessive husband: Some husbands keep referring to ‘my things’, ‘my home’. And when talking about the home of his wife’s parents, they say ‘your home’. Whenever there is a quarrel they say: “Go back to your home, woman! I won’t accept this in my house!†Others refuse the wife’s relatives from visiting or spending nights at their home.
Legal ownership: In whose name is the land title? Many men still insist on having the title in their names, sometimes even after the wife has requested for joint ownership. A house, which is jointly owned or in the names of the children, makes both stakeholders comfortable.
Cohabiting: In most cases, the woman has no legal backing to claim possession in case the man decides to oust her. And as long as they feel the husband is unwilling to legalise the marriage, the wife will never feel part of the home’s ownership.
Experience: Women who have seen many of their relatives and friends being thrown out of their marital homes may feel it is a matter of time for them to leave. It may, therefore, not come naturally for them to consider the home as theirs.
Role of in-laws: There are times when the husband, his parents, siblings or other relatives act as if they own the home more than the wife. If the husband allows them to torture the wife and their word becomes final as far as home matters are concerned, the wife feels isolated and unable to be feel like a part of her own home. This is common in rural homesteads.
Battering: Men who beat and torture their wives cannot expect them to feel at home. Home is a synonym of comfort and ownership.
Reluctance to participate: some men claim that women are not willing to contribute money for the buying of a plot or construction of a house. The man goes it alone and finishes the house without the wife coming in to supervise or even contribute ideas.
Tradition and society: In our cultural setting, the woman leaves her parents’ home and moves joins a new family at marriage. Here, they remain strangers until their children can be identified by the whole village as belonging to them. Their ability to have any say in the home, especially in rural areas where culture is still lingering on, is limited to supporting their husbands. It does not come automatically.
Infertility: Culturally, women draw legitimacy from having children. And when children are not forthcoming, the women take the blame and feel too insecure to consider themselves safe in the home.
The problem is compounded when the husband is under visible pressure from the relatives to produce and heir. The women is left feeling like it is only a matter of time before her husband gets himself another wife to bear children.
Compiled by Anne Abaho
Legal ownership: In whose name is the land title? Many men still insist on having the title in their names, sometimes even after the wife has requested for joint ownership. A house, which is jointly owned or in the names of the children, makes both stakeholders comfortable.
Cohabiting: In most cases, the woman has no legal backing to claim possession in case the man decides to oust her. And as long as they feel the husband is unwilling to legalise the marriage, the wife will never feel part of the home’s ownership.
Experience: Women who have seen many of their relatives and friends being thrown out of their marital homes may feel it is a matter of time for them to leave. It may, therefore, not come naturally for them to consider the home as theirs.
Role of in-laws: There are times when the husband, his parents, siblings or other relatives act as if they own the home more than the wife. If the husband allows them to torture the wife and their word becomes final as far as home matters are concerned, the wife feels isolated and unable to be feel like a part of her own home. This is common in rural homesteads.
Battering: Men who beat and torture their wives cannot expect them to feel at home. Home is a synonym of comfort and ownership.
Reluctance to participate: some men claim that women are not willing to contribute money for the buying of a plot or construction of a house. The man goes it alone and finishes the house without the wife coming in to supervise or even contribute ideas.
Tradition and society: In our cultural setting, the woman leaves her parents’ home and moves joins a new family at marriage. Here, they remain strangers until their children can be identified by the whole village as belonging to them. Their ability to have any say in the home, especially in rural areas where culture is still lingering on, is limited to supporting their husbands. It does not come automatically.
Infertility: Culturally, women draw legitimacy from having children. And when children are not forthcoming, the women take the blame and feel too insecure to consider themselves safe in the home.
The problem is compounded when the husband is under visible pressure from the relatives to produce and heir. The women is left feeling like it is only a matter of time before her husband gets himself another wife to bear children.
Compiled by Anne Abaho