You really want to look at my shoes?
Nov 21, 2008
IT was last Tuesday when a few ladies in my company took turns to wow about my shoes! Shoes! Yet, honestly, I really thought there are more important things on my body to wow about.
IT was last Tuesday when a few ladies in my company took turns to wow about my shoes! Shoes! Yet, honestly, I really thought there are more important things on my body to wow about.
Of course I have met females who swear that the first thing they notice about a man is his shoes. Some say shoes identify people who sell their land for billions of shillings and the shoesize reflects the unseen weapons.
But I have my minority report on that. How many women have I dated while standing on very uninspiring tyres? In fact, I once outcompeted smart guys over a village belle when wearing plastic katoota-muriro (shoes that melt as soon as they smell fire)! So, what is it shoes can do, that other personal effects can’t?
But I have a friend who moves around with a brush and shoe polish. I guess before he knocks on a woman’s door, he first removes shoes to brush them.
I can’t do that because I guess if I have come to visit you after work, you shouldn’t expect me to be as clean and polished as I was in the morning. I don’t want women to think I spend my days preserving my sanctity for them after work. If I can’t polish before a job interview or church, why should I before mortal man!
And even when I am to date, I would get too distracted by boobs, bums, face and … (my secret) to look beneath the knees. I don’t believe in starting the war in West Nile when all you need is to capture Kampala. By the time shoes become necessary for me to pay attention to, I am probably helping someone to remove them.
Now that you know I am far from perfect in the shoe department, I can't help you on how to form personal opinions of people’s footwear. But because you may not be well endowed in other faculties, we need to see if shoes can improve your ratings. Who says you should follow my footsteps; you need to leave your own trail.
There are women who think that if a man can't afford a respectable pair of shoes, he certainly can’t afford them. Don’t worry about these. You save a lot of money when they don’t fancy you.
But if you really don’t want to save that money, buy pompous sports shoes on a weekend date. You may look a competitive athlete or simply a man who has just been sent off the hook by court over selling people’s property. The lass may even start looking forward to seeing you on weekdays!
Designer shoes? Well, those can as well be got from Owino. I would have told you the price but you will think I shop from there. So, I am not sure, but it is cheap.
If you ever meet a guy with real cool shoes, a) he has probably been told women look at shoes, b) he puts a lot of thought into his looks and style, c) he is a shallow materialistic prick who chose the most expensive shoes to floor you and d) it is an accident; he probably put no thought into buying his shoes - just chose the pair in his price range.
Like I recently discovered that I have Prada, the shoes the Pope loves, which I bought in Australia. And I doubt if my entire personality changes every time I wear it.
If you still think you need to look at my shoes, we need the services of a Parliamentary scarecrow committee to scare you off.
Of course I have met females who swear that the first thing they notice about a man is his shoes. Some say shoes identify people who sell their land for billions of shillings and the shoesize reflects the unseen weapons.
But I have my minority report on that. How many women have I dated while standing on very uninspiring tyres? In fact, I once outcompeted smart guys over a village belle when wearing plastic katoota-muriro (shoes that melt as soon as they smell fire)! So, what is it shoes can do, that other personal effects can’t?
But I have a friend who moves around with a brush and shoe polish. I guess before he knocks on a woman’s door, he first removes shoes to brush them.
I can’t do that because I guess if I have come to visit you after work, you shouldn’t expect me to be as clean and polished as I was in the morning. I don’t want women to think I spend my days preserving my sanctity for them after work. If I can’t polish before a job interview or church, why should I before mortal man!
And even when I am to date, I would get too distracted by boobs, bums, face and … (my secret) to look beneath the knees. I don’t believe in starting the war in West Nile when all you need is to capture Kampala. By the time shoes become necessary for me to pay attention to, I am probably helping someone to remove them.
Now that you know I am far from perfect in the shoe department, I can't help you on how to form personal opinions of people’s footwear. But because you may not be well endowed in other faculties, we need to see if shoes can improve your ratings. Who says you should follow my footsteps; you need to leave your own trail.
There are women who think that if a man can't afford a respectable pair of shoes, he certainly can’t afford them. Don’t worry about these. You save a lot of money when they don’t fancy you.
But if you really don’t want to save that money, buy pompous sports shoes on a weekend date. You may look a competitive athlete or simply a man who has just been sent off the hook by court over selling people’s property. The lass may even start looking forward to seeing you on weekdays!
Designer shoes? Well, those can as well be got from Owino. I would have told you the price but you will think I shop from there. So, I am not sure, but it is cheap.
If you ever meet a guy with real cool shoes, a) he has probably been told women look at shoes, b) he puts a lot of thought into his looks and style, c) he is a shallow materialistic prick who chose the most expensive shoes to floor you and d) it is an accident; he probably put no thought into buying his shoes - just chose the pair in his price range.
Like I recently discovered that I have Prada, the shoes the Pope loves, which I bought in Australia. And I doubt if my entire personality changes every time I wear it.
If you still think you need to look at my shoes, we need the services of a Parliamentary scarecrow committee to scare you off.