You shouldn’t be caught wearing white socks
Jan 24, 2007
HILARY BAINEMIGISHA<br><br>In one of the adultery confessions I have handled as a counsellor, one client told me that her husband’s friend once seduced her with white underwear!
HILARY BAINEMIGISHA
In one of the adultery confessions I have handled as a counsellor, one client told me that her husband’s friend once seduced her with white underwear!
This, by the way, is for the fashion gurus who were throwing rotten eggs at men’s white socks just the other day. So, pay attention Keturah.
This woman suspected her husband of infidelity. She had been given so many ‘Kayiira murder reports’ about her husband that, in confusion, she approached his real friend (Scotland Yard) for the real report. Scotland Yard, smelling a possible dinner, told her to meet him at some hotel.
There, he tried to seduce her and she confessed. her resistance faltered when the guy divested himself of his public clothes and remained in underwear: spotless white socks and pants. That, she said, was an amour-piercing temptation.
Since the story is not about this woman, it can end here, but with a conclusion that soon after, I found myself shopping for white socks and white underwear.
And so, armed with (or is it footed with) white socks, I have always thought I was impressing women –— oh, did I say women? I am joking of course. I meant my wife. Whenever women would welcome me with vigour, I would look at my white-wrapped hooves and smile. I always thought white socks were a bomb until I heard the truth from the horse’s mouth.
This month, our celebrated fashion columnist at The New Vision, Keturah Kamugasa, was on TV discouraging men from wearing white socks! She said white socks are a blunder. The next day, I asked several women of right thinking minds in society’s opinion and they all voted with Keturah! No, I insisted and raided the internet. What I found there was not so supportive.
One site bluntly said white socks are the biggest turn off for any fashion law-abiding, decent looking woman. “How would you feel after getting an upper-cut right in the eye?†The site asked. “Ouch!†It replied. “That hurts, doesn’t it?†It continued. “Well, having white socks on your feet when you are not in the gym is pretty much like blasting an upper-cut to the eyes of the beautiful women surrounding you. This is a simple fashion tip that shouldn’t cost you a penny,†wrote Askmen.com.
Another site claimed they had conducted a survey with over 100 beautiful women on their most hated fashion. They said the big winner was “white socks with pants or jeansâ€. The basic response was that not only do white socks reflect major lack of fashion sense, but complete lack of class.
An online paper, The Morning News, said in their rules for dressing, white socks are only fine for the gym or tennis. For men, socks should match the colour of your trouser, though not the exact same shade.
But generally, I am disappointed. I expected something more scientific on the internet. Like a scientific experiment, where fashion researchers dress one set of naked laboratory rats with white socks, and another with dark socks.
Then, expose both groups to a panel of beautiful rats, who are in their ovulation because that is when their selection instincts are at their highest.
If the beauties indicate that they would be less likely to date from the white-socks group, I will donate all my white socks to Catholic priests who do not need to impress romantically.
OK, lets face it. You see, women decide whether you qualify on the very first time they lay their eyes on you. On average, men have exactly three seconds to impress a woman the very first time you meet.
You do not want her to spend 2.9 of those seconds being distracted by your white socks. If you think that dark socks do not provide any uplifting energy, those are your male thoughts. If you want to play with butterflies, you must first learn how they fly.
If the butterflies hate white socks and you must play with them, then off with your white socks. And if you think my fashion taste is as bad, you are probably right. Only that it still counts in relationship matters.
In one of the adultery confessions I have handled as a counsellor, one client told me that her husband’s friend once seduced her with white underwear!
This, by the way, is for the fashion gurus who were throwing rotten eggs at men’s white socks just the other day. So, pay attention Keturah.
This woman suspected her husband of infidelity. She had been given so many ‘Kayiira murder reports’ about her husband that, in confusion, she approached his real friend (Scotland Yard) for the real report. Scotland Yard, smelling a possible dinner, told her to meet him at some hotel.
There, he tried to seduce her and she confessed. her resistance faltered when the guy divested himself of his public clothes and remained in underwear: spotless white socks and pants. That, she said, was an amour-piercing temptation.
Since the story is not about this woman, it can end here, but with a conclusion that soon after, I found myself shopping for white socks and white underwear.
And so, armed with (or is it footed with) white socks, I have always thought I was impressing women –— oh, did I say women? I am joking of course. I meant my wife. Whenever women would welcome me with vigour, I would look at my white-wrapped hooves and smile. I always thought white socks were a bomb until I heard the truth from the horse’s mouth.
This month, our celebrated fashion columnist at The New Vision, Keturah Kamugasa, was on TV discouraging men from wearing white socks! She said white socks are a blunder. The next day, I asked several women of right thinking minds in society’s opinion and they all voted with Keturah! No, I insisted and raided the internet. What I found there was not so supportive.
One site bluntly said white socks are the biggest turn off for any fashion law-abiding, decent looking woman. “How would you feel after getting an upper-cut right in the eye?†The site asked. “Ouch!†It replied. “That hurts, doesn’t it?†It continued. “Well, having white socks on your feet when you are not in the gym is pretty much like blasting an upper-cut to the eyes of the beautiful women surrounding you. This is a simple fashion tip that shouldn’t cost you a penny,†wrote Askmen.com.
Another site claimed they had conducted a survey with over 100 beautiful women on their most hated fashion. They said the big winner was “white socks with pants or jeansâ€. The basic response was that not only do white socks reflect major lack of fashion sense, but complete lack of class.
An online paper, The Morning News, said in their rules for dressing, white socks are only fine for the gym or tennis. For men, socks should match the colour of your trouser, though not the exact same shade.
But generally, I am disappointed. I expected something more scientific on the internet. Like a scientific experiment, where fashion researchers dress one set of naked laboratory rats with white socks, and another with dark socks.
Then, expose both groups to a panel of beautiful rats, who are in their ovulation because that is when their selection instincts are at their highest.
If the beauties indicate that they would be less likely to date from the white-socks group, I will donate all my white socks to Catholic priests who do not need to impress romantically.
OK, lets face it. You see, women decide whether you qualify on the very first time they lay their eyes on you. On average, men have exactly three seconds to impress a woman the very first time you meet.
You do not want her to spend 2.9 of those seconds being distracted by your white socks. If you think that dark socks do not provide any uplifting energy, those are your male thoughts. If you want to play with butterflies, you must first learn how they fly.
If the butterflies hate white socks and you must play with them, then off with your white socks. And if you think my fashion taste is as bad, you are probably right. Only that it still counts in relationship matters.