Sagara wants KCC tender to supply English words to Seya

Mar 07, 2006

Seyaa is our new Mayor; sounds like an April fools prank, but it’s the reality. The Oxford Alumni last week reduced thousands to tears when he swept the mayoral polls with a clear margin.

Seyaa is our new Mayor; sounds like an April fools prank, but it’s the reality. The Oxford Alumni last week reduced thousands to tears when he swept the mayoral polls with a clear margin.
Now, we have to contend with a chap who murders the English language with great abandon.There is a storro in town that Seya was asked why he was nervous and he answered ‘Muli ku bikadde, Naava namuvaako dda!’ (That’s history; I left Naava long time ago). Then the clincher for me is this other storro about the H2N1 bird flu virus. Mbu Seya was asked what he would do as Mayor in case Kampala got a bird flu attack. Well, the Mayor-elect did not disappoint in his answer. “Flu is Flu…. Whether bad or good, we shall treat it,” he chipped
Then, the other storro was that, while campaigning in Kawempe, he said ‘Ow’amaanyi ge takeera’ and when he was asked to translate that line to English, he pulled another one. “Of his power does not early!”
Now, that is the man you voted as your Mayor. I wonder what’s wrong with Ugandans. You had Peter Ssematimba offering to serve, then you throw this golden opportunity to the wind and vote for a man who was convicted for fraud?
Now that the Commonwealth conference is around the corner, Seya is actually going to host Her Royal Highness, the Queen of England, here in Kampala. I can imagine what kaboozi they will bang, will it be something like…..
“I am very happy to receive you Mr. Queen, but before I undress you, let me first put off my testacles.”
When Ssematimba vowed to turn Kampala into New York, Seya took advantage of this and told his seyas that if they voted Sema, they would lose jobs. “In New York, there are no bodabodas, there are no street-side markets and wheelbarrow pushers,” he told wanainchi. So, with this, brace yourself for the biggest influx of wheelbarrow pushers and street-side markets.
Anyway, as a brilliant Alur, following closely in the path of Archbishop Orombi, I am offering to write Seya’s acceptance speech come swearing-in day. He won’t have to pay me for this, though I could make do with a tender to supply KCC with state-of-the-art English words – words that would beef up the Mayors nomenclature. I will charge only a paltry amount per word. Say something like sh10,000 for the first 50 words and sh200 for every additional word.

Harry Sagara is chief
executive, Bullseyecreative
Harry@bullseyecreative.co.ug

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