How does your child call you?
Mar 27, 2005
Try to remember the first time you had a lover. You must have coined a special name for that lover. We all have sweet names we set aside for our ‘sweet hearts’- names that depict intimacy and fondness.
Try to remember the first time you had a lover. You must have coined a special name for that lover. We all have sweet names we set aside for our ‘sweet hearts’- names that depict intimacy and fondness. Patrick becomes Pat, Cynthia becomes Cyni, Rita becomes Rits, Penelope becomes Penny and the list is endless. When our names are sweetened or flavoured up by people who care, they fill our hearts with joy. One time, I shocked my friend Juliet when I addressed her as ‘Julia’ and not ‘Julie’ like others did. She said the name rekindled childhood memories of her dad who used it at her tender age.
How would your child describe you to another person? Did you know that some children have secret nicknames for their parents? When I was young, we coined a nickname we used to refer our dad in his presence. He was so hostile that his presence terrorised us. The name your child uses to describe you, especially in your absence, would help you know how intimate he/she feels towards you.
Like most African cultures, it is considered rude for a child to address a parent by name — and worst of all surnames. Children are compelled to use labels like, mummy and dad. Many of them use these labels in the parents’ presence but resort to others in their absence. This double-faced game is played for parents who do not cultivate an intimate relationship with their children.
For a long time, many people have understood the parenting role as authoritative supervision of the child. This is because most of us were brought up with a stick in hand and a ready slap to complete the circuit. Our parents were more of tyrannical beasts than loving friends. Since there is no school that trains parents, we often emulate our parents and transfer their tyranny upon our children.
A child is an emotional being with all the feelings that you should never underrate. Children are born with full mental faculties intact. They can distinguish love from hatred, fair from the unfair and decipher all that happens around them. Those cheeky questions your child asks should show you the little brain has sense.
Effective parenting calls for intimacy with your child. Let the child know that he/she matters to you. If possible coin some special names for calling your children. These names will remain in the child’s memory for life and will strengthen your relationship.
How would you feel if your child told you ‘dad, or mum, I love you’? If these words put a smile on your face then, how often do you mention them to your child? It sounds simple but has far-reaching implications on your child’s emotional development. Your child craves to be loved and recognised just like you do.
By the way, if you were to travel out of the country for one month, would your child miss you? If he/she wouldn’t, then do something about your relationship. Sweeten the child’s name, give hugs, play some indoor games, and show how much you care. Childhood is but for a period.
Why don’t you let your child enjoy it and build a bank of memories? Till next week. Be a good parent.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
077631032
How would your child describe you to another person? Did you know that some children have secret nicknames for their parents? When I was young, we coined a nickname we used to refer our dad in his presence. He was so hostile that his presence terrorised us. The name your child uses to describe you, especially in your absence, would help you know how intimate he/she feels towards you.
Like most African cultures, it is considered rude for a child to address a parent by name — and worst of all surnames. Children are compelled to use labels like, mummy and dad. Many of them use these labels in the parents’ presence but resort to others in their absence. This double-faced game is played for parents who do not cultivate an intimate relationship with their children.
For a long time, many people have understood the parenting role as authoritative supervision of the child. This is because most of us were brought up with a stick in hand and a ready slap to complete the circuit. Our parents were more of tyrannical beasts than loving friends. Since there is no school that trains parents, we often emulate our parents and transfer their tyranny upon our children.
A child is an emotional being with all the feelings that you should never underrate. Children are born with full mental faculties intact. They can distinguish love from hatred, fair from the unfair and decipher all that happens around them. Those cheeky questions your child asks should show you the little brain has sense.
Effective parenting calls for intimacy with your child. Let the child know that he/she matters to you. If possible coin some special names for calling your children. These names will remain in the child’s memory for life and will strengthen your relationship.
How would you feel if your child told you ‘dad, or mum, I love you’? If these words put a smile on your face then, how often do you mention them to your child? It sounds simple but has far-reaching implications on your child’s emotional development. Your child craves to be loved and recognised just like you do.
By the way, if you were to travel out of the country for one month, would your child miss you? If he/she wouldn’t, then do something about your relationship. Sweeten the child’s name, give hugs, play some indoor games, and show how much you care. Childhood is but for a period.
Why don’t you let your child enjoy it and build a bank of memories? Till next week. Be a good parent.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
077631032