Does your child feel inferior?

By Margaret K. Lubega WHEN a child gets frustrated, it is likely that they will have feelings of inferiority. For example, the student who does not pass their exams will be frustrated because of failure to achieve that ambition. The fact that they have failed is likely to make them feel inferior. Any experience which makes a person aware that they compare unfavourably with others, or which makes them aware of their own defects, is likely to produce feelings of inferiority. It should be noted that many children who suffer from feelings of inferiority are those who, when judged by ordinary standards, are not inferior in anyway. The reason why these children feel inferior is that they have not been able to reach the standards which they have set for themselves. Feelings of inferiority are caused by the fact that there is a gap between a person's attainments and their ambitions. The more ambitious the child is, the more frustrated they become if they fail to fulfil their ambitions. A clever child may suffer from feelings of inferiority if the parents and teachers make them feel that they ought to be reaching a standard far above their present level. A child of average intelligence may feel inferior if they are made to mix with those who are far more intelligent. However, all is not lost. Parents and teachers can help a child who feels inferior in the following ways. l Help the child overcome feelings of inferiority through compensation. For instance, if the child feels they cannot read at their age, get a private tutor to teach them reading. l Turn this weakness into strength. For example, a child who feels inferior because they are too short for their age, may for this reason strive particularly hard to beat peers at academic work. Once they succeed in getting to the top of the class, their self-respect and confidence will be restored. Some children, however, will adopt their own behaviours without anyone helping them to overcome the feelings of inferiority. Parents need to be aware of such behaviour because some of them are not constructive. They include, l Boasting l Belittling oneself l Pointing out faults in other people l Day-dreaming Recommendations l You need to recognise the signs of frustration first. l Find the cause of frustration. While it is not always possible to change a person's circumstances, it is possible to help them adjust to these circumstances. l Encourage children, early in life to regard difficulties as a challenge. If they suffer from an inferiority complex, we should help them to compensate in ways which will enable them gain their self-respect. l Know your child and find ways of building their self-confidence. Begin by giving them small responsibilities such as feeding the pets if you have any. This will make them feel valued. The writer is a lecturer at the Institute of Teacher Education, Kyambogo (ITEK.) Ends