HAVE you ever felt like your friends are taking advantage of you and are tired of giving in to their endless demands? If your answer is â€˜yesâ€™ then SUSAN MUYIYI brings you tips on how to say â€˜noâ€™ to their demands without feeling guilty
USE A TRUSTED FRIEND
Stella never said no to Lorna, her bossy friendâ€™s demands. If, she wasnâ€™t complaining about money she never returned, it was about a spoilt shoe she borrowed and never returned.
Stella grumbled after each incident; of course behind Stellaâ€™s back.
One day, a bold friend offered to approach the insensitive Stella and that was the end of the manipulative relationship.
JUST SAY â€˜NOâ€™
When Sophia realised that arguing with Gloria about her imposing character didnâ€™t make head way, she decided to ignore her demands, but she never took no for an answer,â€ Sophia recalls.
Tired of being her door mat, she refused to do Gloriaâ€™s bidding. This didnâ€™t go down well with Gloria.
â€œShe referred to me as the mean friend, but I knew I had the right to say no.â€
Most acquaintances believe that married women have their husbandâ€™s money on them. That is why they take their time to repay. When such a person approaches Viola, she refuses out rightly.
â€œI say no and donâ€™t feel guilty about it. Why should I?â€
At first, Viola lied about having to top up the childrenâ€™s fees and house bills until she realized that there was always someone willing to take her for a ride.
When it came to running church errands, Fiona was the best.
She never said â€˜noâ€™, even though the programme she hadnâ€™t planned for ate into her time with the family.Â
Then, one day, she accidentally eavesdropped on a conservation ridiculing her generosity and she decided to stop.
At first, members who attended her church did not believe she could say no to their demands.
â€œI had to tell a particular person more than once that I wasnâ€™t going to lend him my car to travel for a crusade.â€
Fiona was proud of not giving into blackmail.
TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL
Fiona didnâ€™t stop at that, she one day sat down a friend and told every thing she felt about being used.
â€œIt was a better approach than resenting him. Of course there was an uncomfortable silence but I made my point.
I prefer friendships where I am not manipulated because of my kindness,â€ she concludes.