AGATHA came to my clinic with a problem she allowed us to share. One of her best friends, Ruth, constantly drops by her home and starts flirting with her husband.
They exchange sexual jokes, touch each other playfully and enjoy being together. â€œThey really connect,â€ she said.
It had always made her uncomfortable but she did not want to display a weakness in case it was a false alarm. It would look bad if they were just friends. With time, she began to see that her husbandâ€™s best fun was whenever Ruth came around.
She wanted to know how to put a stop to this without hurting her friend, or appearing an over-jealous freak.
Flirting can be described as making playfully romantic games or sexual overtures or behaving playfully in a manner intended to arouse sexual interest. It is common in offices and has often sparked off galloping romance.
I bet couples who frown silently at their partnerâ€™s flirting ways are a real handful. I congratulated Agatha and those who are courageous enough to face the fact that even best friends can steal husbands. And that even nice men can have a wandering mind and can yield to temptation.
People with ill intentions usually flirt to test the waters and before you know it, they will be swimming with your husband in deeper waters.
To begin with, there is nothing wrong in trying to protect your own. Even when it turns out to be a false alarm, your gesture exhibits your love for your man. And by the way, the man you fear to accuse of flirting excessively would not turn the other cheek if it was you doing it. So why play saint when your real estate is being encroached on?
Never shy away from registering your complaint whenever you smell danger. But you need to be wise. One way is to pretend that you have received an infidelity rumour doing the rounds in the area about your best friend and your husband. Tell them that for your own respect and esteem in public, the flirting must stop.
While that may not stop any possible romance, it will send it underground. This in itself is an advantage because one, you no longer see what hurts you and two, you now make it difficult for a cheat to eat from your plate as you smile on like a sheep.
And donâ€™t stop there. Could it be that Agathaâ€™s guy connected well with Ruth because Agatha was failing to occupy that seat? She promised me to work really hard at connecting with her husband. She should have studied what it is that he was not getting in his marriage that sent him into sexual jokes with other women.
Marriage is a lifelong lesson. You need to constantly channel it into a warm, loving, fun, and very very sexy package.