How do I help my alcoholic uncle?

Oct 05, 2016

Instead he says he wants a job, or a business, and someone who is willing to listen to him

Dear Counselor,
My uncle is an alcoholic and while he says he wants to quit, he refuses to go into rehab, or to see a counselor.

Instead he says he wants a job, or a business, and someone who is willing to listen to him. He also suffers from depression. What should I do, because I really want to help him? Alex, Mengo.

Dear Alex,

You have done a wonderful thing, by choosing to help your uncle, who has been abandoned by his family. As a matter of fact, you are already contributing significantly to his treatment, by choosing to listen to him and caring about his problems. This is what we call Social Support, and it is a prerequisite to recovery from addiction.

All the issues your uncle raises are important. He needs to talk to someone who understands him, because he is living in isolation, feels rejected and abandoned.

In this state, he feels overwhelmed by his troubles. Many people in his situation are at risk of committing suicide, and their cases should not be taken very lightly. Talking to someone understanding, boosts his sense of self-worth, and gives him a sense of belonging. Being employed, gives him a sense of usefulness.

But what your uncle wants may not necessarily be what's good for him, because of his lack of insight! Most addicts don't want to go into treatment, and someone else must make that decision for them. Without treatment, most addicts can't hold a job. The person, who listens to his troubles, must know what to do with them, and that requires some knowledge in counseling.

Joining a self-help group would be helpful. A study published in the journal Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 2006, observed, "In the addiction field, recovery oriented support may foster greater self-efficacy toward ongoing abstinence because recovering persons can acquire effective coping strategies from their peers."Top of Form.

Question answered by Oscar Bamugigire


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