When should you give in to sex?

Jun 30, 2016

The longer you wait to have sex, the more you will get to know him and see how you really feel about him and him about you.

When should you give in to sex?

Sex is a big deal; whether you are having it or not. In any relationship, sex plays a big part even for the couples who are not yet sleeping together.

From the moment you meet someone you are interested in, sex is like the big elephant in the room.

You ask yourself questions like, should I or should I not give in? Is this the right time or should I wait a little longer to be sure? Will he understand if I want to wait or will he throw me out and look for a more willing partner?

The question of when to have sex perplexes many women. In a society where chastity is losing appeal and where it is getting harder to hold on to a relationship if you are not giving in to sex, the decision to sleep with someone is often rushed and the consequences are regrettable.

For the older generation, the question of sex never came to mind while they were dating, but today's generation is not so lucky. Today, girls are having sex while they are still in school because of pressure from peers and exposure to rated TV programmes.

For young girls, the pressure to fit in society is stronger than ever before and sex has become another ritual to help them fit in with their peers.

Everyone says you will know when it is right to have sex, but with such pressure, how do you let your heart decide when there is so much happening around you? Justine, 53, says today, women rush to have sex because they fear to    lose the man they love.

However, she adds that if a man walks away because you refused to sleep with him, it shows that all he was interested in is sex. "Women need to learn that the longer you hold on, the more intriguing you become and that gives you the upper hand to decide how the relationship develops.

 I would advise young ladies to wait as long as they can while they develop other aspects of the relationship," she says. There are other reasons not to rush into sex. Your personal values should never be put aside in order to please someone else. If you respect yourself and feel that the right time has not yet come, you should not rush to have sex. Mary Butamanya, of Uganda Counselling Association, says you should have sex for the right reasons because it involves your whole person, physically, psychologically and emotionally.

"Ask yourself if you are doing it for yourself or for the other person. This is important because once this relationship doesn't work out, you don't want to end up feeling cheated and used," she says.

You will hardly find a woman just hoping into bed with men for fun. Even if that was the initial reason, women get attached after a while.

The longer you wait to have sex, the more you will get to know him and see how you really feel about him and him about you.

When you finally make the decision, it should not be because you want to make him love you. Above all, Butamanya adds, sex should not be a condition for love and if someone tells you that they want to marry you, but cannot wait until marriage to have sex, it is a warning sign and you are better off ridding yourself of him. Then there is the question of safety. In a world where STDs and other venereal diseases are rampant, the risk of sex is high. You need to wait and be sure that he is the only person you want to have sex with and you are the only person he is interested in.

Butamanya adds that you should not have sex until you have tested for STDs. However unromantic it is, getting tested first is important to make sure that you will not be contracting any diseases.

And why would you sleep with someone whom you do not see a future with? Sex is the most personal thing you can do. Sex is better when you are in love with the person. Just get to know them first and if they want to dump you because you do not sleep with them, then are they really worth it?

 

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});