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Women and money: Cursed if they have it, cursed if they don't

By Vision Reporter

Added 14th June 2014 01:10 PM

I was in a relationship in which I thought I was dating my best friend. We were so compatible, it was scary. We liked the same things and hangout almost anywhere. When he had money, he footed the bill. When I had the money, I footed the bill.

Women and money: Cursed if they have it, cursed if they don't

I was in a relationship in which I thought I was dating my best friend. We were so compatible, it was scary. We liked the same things and hangout almost anywhere. When he had money, he footed the bill. When I had the money, I footed the bill.

By Angela Kateemu

I was in a relationship in which I thought I was dating my best friend. We were so compatible, it was scary. We liked the same things and hangout almost anywhere. When he had money, he footed the bill. When I had the money, I footed the bill.

Then one day he lost his job. All of a sudden, he did not want to hang out together. He would tell me he cannot go without money; save for the fact that before his job he could comfortably hang out “on me” all night long and he had no qualms about it.

Long story short, we grew apart and eventually broke up. It is a dating fact; when single men have lots of money, it works to their advantage. When single women have lots of money, it is a problem that has to be dealt with.

Rich men date not-so-rich women all the time. In fact, they prefer it. They will not admit to it openly but a man with means and money likes splashing on his woman. But let a woman with money do that for a man she loves. He will run for the hills.

It is taken as normal for a guy to have more money

“Him not having money doesn’t matter to me, so I don’t want it to matter to him,” says Susan, a lawyer.

“But it does, I see it when we go out. When I propose a place that we should go, I see him quickly doing the math. When I tell him it is okay, I got it, he gets offended and insists on going to the same place and struggling with the bill. I don’t get it. Why can’t he just let me meet the bill?”

Women with money just want to enjoy their success and not apologise for it. And that translates to enjoying the great dates, living in a good apartment, pimping their men when they (the men) can’t afford certain fi ne things in life.

But therein lies the problem. The men don’t like dating women who have a bigger bank account. And when he is intimidated by it so much, he will opt out of the relationship.

He might start thinking of you as his mother….

From the time he was little, the person who gave him treats was his mother or the mother figure in his life. When you start buying him the car, the fancy suits, paying the bills, he starts thinking of you as his mother (or sugar mummy) and that gets really awkward.

He will always feel like an under–performer. Like he has been neutered… and trust me, shrunk balls never feel good on a man. Ever.

Last resort the gigolo

Not all men though are too proud not to stoop so low as to comfortably take a woman’s money and enjoy all the perks that come with dating loaded women. Sadly though, such men just want your money. They will date you and use your money to fund their other relationships.

Women with money wear the pants

While money should not be the issue, (there are so many women who make more than their husbands and still make it work), women who have more money than their partners tend to be domineering and rather condescending. They assume the man’s role in the relationship – after all they make more money.

The women will argue that it is not about the money but about compatibility but where is the compatibility if the man feels inadequate? Because, let’s face it: it is more than just a difference in income; it is a difference in tastes, social circles, aspirations, outlook on life... everything!

Women and money: Cursed if they have it, cursed if they don’t

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