Nice to meet you, can I have 50k

By Ronald Mayanja

A woman asking for money from a guy they have just met is out of the question. It’s a total turn off on the guy’s part. However, girls should think before they ask, especially concerning the amount of money they ask for… not hefty figures!

I have known this girl for one week now. Which really is a short time to detect any form of ratchet behaviour, but that’s how most guys get it wrong. Girls can surprise you sometimes, especially when they bring the topic of money a tad too soon.

This girl, she is hot and cold, she likes to hang out with me, I think… although she seems uninterested in the whole idea of let’s go here let’s do this and all that Kampala girls consider fun. And that is entirely fine with me, as I also like to sit and do the subtle things.

Well, from the start, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for me to date this seemingly high  maintenance girl, because well, my wallet is like a wafer big and can float in air if left unattended to. I was also seeing someone else during this same space of time.

As assurance, I had earlier asked this girl where she was born, just so I could be sure about what it was I was getting my self into. She said, “Kigali”, just like. I almost fainted! This just made my detoother-radar blink even redder. I haven’t been to Kigali, but knowing the relationship Rwandese babes have with money (it’s almost like the same kind adolescent boys have for girls’ knickers) I was just waiting for the time she would ask. By and large, public perception has it that Kigali seems to be the detoothing capital of Africa, or even the world.
 

So now you know why this girl was freaking me out. Now just the other day, I get the dreaded text message: “Hey, Hun. I am broke. Do something,” it was just random like that. I thought, ‘I have just seen this girl for one week and I am already her money vault and I am supposed to do something?” So, almost without thinking I replied: “Really? This fast?

We haven’t even hit second base yet and you are asking me for money?!” Thereafter she started being defensive and elusive. But really, when is the right time for her to start asking for money? I am more comfortable after the subject is raised much later in the relationship, preferably after hitting second base, twice. And in this case things were moving so fast (yes,that’s right it does move so fast for the boys too) so, I had to squeeze the brakes.

I mean, one does not simply ask me for money after the first week with no occasion whatsoever? If it is your birthday then fine, because it’s your birthday and I can sort of understand how sacred those things are to girls, but not just any random day really! Haven’t you heard of the bukoowu syndrome that has hit Kampala?

For most guys, when a chic asks for money in the very first days of their relationship, especially for a reason as lame as ‘I am broke’, it means one of two things; either she is looking to break your wallet into half and stay to see it pass or she is simply over ambitious and is a little too excited.

Actually, after I narrated my experience to one of my friends, he said, “Dude, Run!” He went on to add that most times babes are just trying to act smart and you also have to be smart about it all.

But when is the right time to bring up the money issue in a relationship? Paul, a business man says: “Relationships are really not about money, although since it is up to men to provide for women it is only right for you to give her when the need arises.” About when this should begin in a relationship, he said “After a certain level of trust has been established. And it should always be for a particular thing, it’s people who give girls redundant money that have created this kind of ‘hunger’ we see today,” says Paul.

“A woman asking for money from a guy they have just met is out of the question. It’s a total turn off on the guy’s part. However, girls should think before they ask for money, especially concerning the amount of money they ask for… not hefty figures! They should ask for a considerably less amount so that they do not appear like thieves,” says Hassan.

But how best should women deal with the question of asking for money from a guy they have just met, or dated for a very short time? “Well, if they have just met then obviously asking for a guy’s money sends the wrong signals; the lady will come off as a detoother. The best way would be using her friend to feign a need for money,” says Ian.

Renowned love doctor and relationship counsellor, Hillary Beinomugisha says: “Women always have a list of expectations when getting into a relationship and considering the fact that most times men come riding a high horse, especially during the time they are wowing them—it makes them feel like they have to meet their missing financial link.”

On whether it is right to run for dear life when a woman asks for money too soon in a relationship, “Men are usually comfortable with her asking for money after they have had sex, although sometimes, especially in those relationships that are not intended to lead to marriage, woman will always ask when need arises… and in this case if they ask a man for money and he runs off, they should instead respect that man, because really it’s sometimes hard for men to say NO! It means that he is honest and faithful,” says Beinomugisha.