Stephen stood by his little girl
May 04, 2010
<b>A father’s experience</b><br>STEPHEN (second name withheld) thought he had seen the worst humiliation of having his 15-year-old daughter getting pregnant while in Senior One. But the day he walked into Gweri Secondary School, Soroti to take her back to school will, perhaps, be the
By VISION REPORTER
A father’s experience
STEPHEN (second name withheld) thought he had seen the worst humiliation of having his 15-year-old daughter getting pregnant while in Senior One. But the day he walked into Gweri Secondary School, Soroti to take her back to school will, perhaps, be the worst day of his life.
The 42-year-old primary school teacher was told the teenage mother could not be allowed back in school because she could be a wrong influence to the rest of the girls.
He stood up and went home with his daughter, knowing very well that by sunset, the entire Gweri village will have heard of his attempt to take his daughter back to school, and many will applaud the school’s stand on ‘spoilt’ girls. It took Stephen two days to get someone to lend him a mobile handset so that he could speak in the privacy of his home as this issue is not something he can discuss comfortably while other people are listening.
He owned a mobile phone last year, but it was stolen. Had it not been for a phone call to that stolen handset in April 2009, perhaps Stephen would not have gone through the ordeal he endured as a father.
Stephen was in the garden that Saturday, when an anonymous caller told him that one of his daughters was pregnant. The news left him rattled. His eldest daughter was the first culprit that came to mind although the girl was well behaved. He had invested every last cent to see that his daughter joins Nzamizi Institute of Social Development, Mpigi. For a primary school teacher, the over sh1m needed for his daughter to join this institution was all his life savings. Stephen felt betrayed. Quickly, he abandoned his hoe and stomped off towards Gweri trading centre to find the person who telephoned him. It turned out to be a payphone and the caller could not be traced.
He rushed to Soroti Police Station to report the matter. The Police, however, advised him to go and speak with his daughters first.
To his utmost horror, there was a teary confession waiting for him from his younger daughter, Salome.
As Stephen turned to his daughter in shock, his wife Jane burst out crying, blaming herself for not having noticed what was going on with their daughter at the time. The angry mother turned furious and Stephen refrained her.
The news hit Stephen badly. His daughter was very promising in school.
“We had a lot of hope in her. During her Primary Leaving Examinations (PLE) the previous year, she was the fourth in her school with aggregate 21.
“Given our meagre resources, it had been a big struggle to send Salome to secondary school. She had sat PLE the same year with her elder brother. So I had two children joining Senior One,†Stephen says.
Salome had to go to the nearby Gweri Secondary School, where they paid sh35,000 for school fees, but even that was almost unaffordable,†he says.
As her parents tried to swim against the tide of mental torture Salome ran away from home and went to live with the family of her child’s father.
“I had to try and reclaim my daughter while teaching the boy a lesson at the same time. I reported the matter to the Police and he was arrested for defilement. He was released months later as I had no time to follow up the case.
“I also wanted my daughter to live a normal life because while the boy was in prison, people never stopped pointing fingers and this made life difficult for my family.
One of Stephen’s sisters took on Salome until she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Today, the child is the responsibility of everyone in the family as they try to support Salome to go back to school.
To other parents who have and who are yet to pass through the fire he has been through, Stephen says the most important thing is to forget oneself and think about your daughter.
“Remember she is a child who has made a mistake. It is your duty as a parent to correct her and help her get her life back on track,†he says.
Stephen’s only wish is that he could afford to take Salome back to Senior One in another school so that she does not lose another year.
“Every time I look at my daughter, I feel guilty that despite her mistake, I have failed her. She should have been in senior one if I had the money. A primary teacher’s salary is too little to take three children to boarding school.â€
For comments on this article, write to education@newvision.co.ug or through sms:
Type Education, leave space, type your comment and your name and
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A father’s experience
STEPHEN (second name withheld) thought he had seen the worst humiliation of having his 15-year-old daughter getting pregnant while in Senior One. But the day he walked into Gweri Secondary School, Soroti to take her back to school will, perhaps, be the worst day of his life.
The 42-year-old primary school teacher was told the teenage mother could not be allowed back in school because she could be a wrong influence to the rest of the girls.
He stood up and went home with his daughter, knowing very well that by sunset, the entire Gweri village will have heard of his attempt to take his daughter back to school, and many will applaud the school’s stand on ‘spoilt’ girls. It took Stephen two days to get someone to lend him a mobile handset so that he could speak in the privacy of his home as this issue is not something he can discuss comfortably while other people are listening.
He owned a mobile phone last year, but it was stolen. Had it not been for a phone call to that stolen handset in April 2009, perhaps Stephen would not have gone through the ordeal he endured as a father.
Stephen was in the garden that Saturday, when an anonymous caller told him that one of his daughters was pregnant. The news left him rattled. His eldest daughter was the first culprit that came to mind although the girl was well behaved. He had invested every last cent to see that his daughter joins Nzamizi Institute of Social Development, Mpigi. For a primary school teacher, the over sh1m needed for his daughter to join this institution was all his life savings. Stephen felt betrayed. Quickly, he abandoned his hoe and stomped off towards Gweri trading centre to find the person who telephoned him. It turned out to be a payphone and the caller could not be traced.
He rushed to Soroti Police Station to report the matter. The Police, however, advised him to go and speak with his daughters first.
To his utmost horror, there was a teary confession waiting for him from his younger daughter, Salome.
As Stephen turned to his daughter in shock, his wife Jane burst out crying, blaming herself for not having noticed what was going on with their daughter at the time. The angry mother turned furious and Stephen refrained her.
The news hit Stephen badly. His daughter was very promising in school.
“We had a lot of hope in her. During her Primary Leaving Examinations (PLE) the previous year, she was the fourth in her school with aggregate 21.
“Given our meagre resources, it had been a big struggle to send Salome to secondary school. She had sat PLE the same year with her elder brother. So I had two children joining Senior One,†Stephen says.
Salome had to go to the nearby Gweri Secondary School, where they paid sh35,000 for school fees, but even that was almost unaffordable,†he says.
As her parents tried to swim against the tide of mental torture Salome ran away from home and went to live with the family of her child’s father.
“I had to try and reclaim my daughter while teaching the boy a lesson at the same time. I reported the matter to the Police and he was arrested for defilement. He was released months later as I had no time to follow up the case.
“I also wanted my daughter to live a normal life because while the boy was in prison, people never stopped pointing fingers and this made life difficult for my family.
One of Stephen’s sisters took on Salome until she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Today, the child is the responsibility of everyone in the family as they try to support Salome to go back to school.
To other parents who have and who are yet to pass through the fire he has been through, Stephen says the most important thing is to forget oneself and think about your daughter.
“Remember she is a child who has made a mistake. It is your duty as a parent to correct her and help her get her life back on track,†he says.
Stephen’s only wish is that he could afford to take Salome back to Senior One in another school so that she does not lose another year.
“Every time I look at my daughter, I feel guilty that despite her mistake, I have failed her. She should have been in senior one if I had the money. A primary teacher’s salary is too little to take three children to boarding school.â€
For comments on this article, write to education@newvision.co.ug or through sms:
Type Education, leave space, type your comment and your name and
send to 8338