In love the ground is never levelled
Aug 25, 2010
IT is official. There is only one assured route to wealth in Uganda and it is paved, has no potholes and the traffic policemen there fear to interfere. The route’s name is called Politics Highway.
IT is official. There is only one assured route to wealth in Uganda and it is paved, has no potholes and the traffic policemen there fear to interfere. The route’s name is called Politics Highway.
Politics Highway used to be a guarded secret but everyone seems to realise that people, who came from the bush with as nothing as newly-borns, are now the wealthy of the land. And since the Movement is the only party with a bus, everyone wants to board. Thus, the chaos in the NRM primaries where siblings are at each other’s necks, MPs, ministers, and other big shots are taking turns to fight police.
Yet, when I was still growing up, the only area siblings would fight each other legitimately was love and marriage! Any person who interferes with these two gets on the enemy list without further investigation. Often, the well wishers were blacklisted too, because the battle of love is commanded by the heart. The brain is often put under house arrest. This is what is happening in our beloved party. I wish Paul would come in to address the contestants.
Paul is my tutor in swimming lessons. Oh, yes, I am learning how to swim and I am a little nervous about this. Up to this time my philosophy has been that if God had wanted us to be beneath the water surface, He would have put floaters beneath our skins or gills below our ears and hips. I also feared that if I dived into a swimming pool with my ample size, water would overflow and cause floods in the neighbourhood.
But recently, the Holy Spirit (yes, the one found in churches) ordered me to become swimming literate. And Paul grabbed the tender to teach me although I very much would have preferred a shapely attractive lady with a youthful burst.
He is a good trainer. His only problem is that the only wise saying he knows about swimming is: Be calm! That was the first lesson, his second lesson and his everyday lesson. A typical lesson goes like this:
ME: Don’t people susu (urinate) in the pool?
PAUL: Be calm!
ME: Is there a scientific way of blocking women in their menstruation from swimming?
PAUL: Be calm!
ME: What happens if I find a giant, hot-tempered, horny crocodile underwater thinking about raping someone, male or female?
PAUL: Be calm!
I still don’t know for certain how to remain calm before a crocodile, because we haven’t gotten to the section on crocodiles. But all I know is that Paul’s calm message is vital to Sekikuubo, Kuteesa, Otaala, Chebrot, and their kin, the lovers who think of crushing any stumbling block along the Politics Highway.
I have heard such advice to newly weds to ‘solve their problems with a smile’ and, probably, that is why marrieds are butchering each other and dragging themselves to court. Many young people ask me how to ensure that an affair succeeds. My answer used to be as long as the Budget speech. But not any more; I now say it in two words: Remain calm. Love is like a swimming pool: the ground will never be level, competitors may appear more empowered, some people will susu in there, others will lose their pads therein, you could meet some violence here or there and the law may not come to your aid that quickly. You will not control all the factors at play except yourself, to some extent and the environment to a limited extent.
Yet you can’t learn by taking ‘calm’ notes from Paul from the safety of the banks. The only way to learn is to dive into water and let your survival instinct take over. Give it your best and, as Paul would say, keep calm.
The public will think you are the peace loving Kuteesa while the raging mad Sekikubo will be demonised. And if the public includes the object of your love, you will be home and dry.
Don’t hope for a smooth sail; it is not even good for you. If the crocodiles in the water are sleeping, you may learn how to swim but will come out with no experience of surviving crises. If the crocs are awake, you will learn how to swim and survive because your instincts are sharpened by challenges.
That is enough! You can take your dive now and ask the questions later. Remember, be calm.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
Politics Highway used to be a guarded secret but everyone seems to realise that people, who came from the bush with as nothing as newly-borns, are now the wealthy of the land. And since the Movement is the only party with a bus, everyone wants to board. Thus, the chaos in the NRM primaries where siblings are at each other’s necks, MPs, ministers, and other big shots are taking turns to fight police.
Yet, when I was still growing up, the only area siblings would fight each other legitimately was love and marriage! Any person who interferes with these two gets on the enemy list without further investigation. Often, the well wishers were blacklisted too, because the battle of love is commanded by the heart. The brain is often put under house arrest. This is what is happening in our beloved party. I wish Paul would come in to address the contestants.
Paul is my tutor in swimming lessons. Oh, yes, I am learning how to swim and I am a little nervous about this. Up to this time my philosophy has been that if God had wanted us to be beneath the water surface, He would have put floaters beneath our skins or gills below our ears and hips. I also feared that if I dived into a swimming pool with my ample size, water would overflow and cause floods in the neighbourhood.
But recently, the Holy Spirit (yes, the one found in churches) ordered me to become swimming literate. And Paul grabbed the tender to teach me although I very much would have preferred a shapely attractive lady with a youthful burst.
He is a good trainer. His only problem is that the only wise saying he knows about swimming is: Be calm! That was the first lesson, his second lesson and his everyday lesson. A typical lesson goes like this:
ME: Don’t people susu (urinate) in the pool?
PAUL: Be calm!
ME: Is there a scientific way of blocking women in their menstruation from swimming?
PAUL: Be calm!
ME: What happens if I find a giant, hot-tempered, horny crocodile underwater thinking about raping someone, male or female?
PAUL: Be calm!
I still don’t know for certain how to remain calm before a crocodile, because we haven’t gotten to the section on crocodiles. But all I know is that Paul’s calm message is vital to Sekikuubo, Kuteesa, Otaala, Chebrot, and their kin, the lovers who think of crushing any stumbling block along the Politics Highway.
I have heard such advice to newly weds to ‘solve their problems with a smile’ and, probably, that is why marrieds are butchering each other and dragging themselves to court. Many young people ask me how to ensure that an affair succeeds. My answer used to be as long as the Budget speech. But not any more; I now say it in two words: Remain calm. Love is like a swimming pool: the ground will never be level, competitors may appear more empowered, some people will susu in there, others will lose their pads therein, you could meet some violence here or there and the law may not come to your aid that quickly. You will not control all the factors at play except yourself, to some extent and the environment to a limited extent.
Yet you can’t learn by taking ‘calm’ notes from Paul from the safety of the banks. The only way to learn is to dive into water and let your survival instinct take over. Give it your best and, as Paul would say, keep calm.
The public will think you are the peace loving Kuteesa while the raging mad Sekikubo will be demonised. And if the public includes the object of your love, you will be home and dry.
Don’t hope for a smooth sail; it is not even good for you. If the crocodiles in the water are sleeping, you may learn how to swim but will come out with no experience of surviving crises. If the crocs are awake, you will learn how to swim and survive because your instincts are sharpened by challenges.
That is enough! You can take your dive now and ask the questions later. Remember, be calm.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug