Don’t let independents ruin your marriage
Dec 08, 2010
ONCE in a while, some formerly innocent thing like a shirt on the wall rack takes up arms in the night and scares the hell out of you by looking like a wounded Kahinda Otafiire.
Hilary Bainemigisha
ONCE in a while, some formerly innocent thing like a shirt on the wall rack takes up arms in the night and scares the hell out of you by looking like a wounded Kahinda Otafiire.
It lurches out every time you shift positions and because Umeme is load-shedding you, you can end up out jumping down your window and probably hurting yourself.
Take, for example, the issue of Independents. Previously, to be described as independent minded was an attribute every peace-loving citizen would wish for. But, today that is something that is making even our iron man, he-who-weathers-all-storms, Amama Mbabazi, a bit uneasy. Recently, when he spat fire to scare NRM Independents off the election cake, they returned fire in a proper resistance movement format, disabling him from firing the excommunication shot.
And a lot of sleepless nights are currently being evenly spread amongst the Movement leaders.
But, if that was a nervous situation, do not worry. I would like to lead you to a better place where I can have a chance of making you even more nervous.
This independent thing will not go. It never does. It is a natural phenomenon in every facet of life including death where independents, who resist death, return as ghosts.
Take marriage, for example, and remember the time you walked down the isle. You probably knew you were the flag bearer because you had won the primaries. Little did you know that there was an equally popular rival who believed he or she had been rigged out because you wanted marriage and they still had issues to sort out.
Such people rarely hang up their boots. They almost always crop up as Independents even after your wedding. Those dreaded Independents!
And in marriage, the ground is never level. Flag bearers rarely get to know that they have competition. Usually, they stop beseeching the voters, relax and live like Pharisees, while the Independents remain campaigning for votes, knowing that they have to compete with the flag bearer. And there are consequences.
For example, there is a marriage shock as couples discover they have to stop behaving like singles and start being really married.
Women are champions of adjusting ability and usually find this change manageable.
Husbands still want to be with boys, dress like Independents, wink at girls and watch every Premiership game. In so doing, they play into the hands of the Independents whose game is planned according to the rival’s weaknesses.
Mr Husband, therefore, suffers consequences. According to science, even his sperm play like most marathoners who run without the express intention of winning. They get tired and walk, chatting unhelpful gossip about the presidential elections, others stop a bit to buy airtime, drink water, etc.
But, the Independent’s sperm, even when dispatched hours later, race like Kenyans, with a purpose, a rival to defeat. That is why if any pregnancy is to occur, most likely, it is going the Independents way.
But, there is a solution. Religion, the law, society, Movement, etc will call for outlawing the Independents.
But, this will not happen. It cannot, at least not all the time, everywhere. So, it is not a feasible solution.
The remedy is for all flag bearers to start playing like there is a rival. Even when you see no sign of Independents around your home, do not relax; you are probably looking the wrong side.
Even then, Independents can be so invisible that it is easier to see viruses.
Do not wait for evidence, just know there is an Independent candidate and love your electorate like you are in competition.
For wives, it may require harder work. Your independents are volatile, vicious, vengeful, vigorous and come with all other scaring V-words you may think of. Marriage somehow bogs you down from fighting with an equal zeal, but you should not relax.
So, if we can not stop independents from standing, let us defeat them in elections.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
ONCE in a while, some formerly innocent thing like a shirt on the wall rack takes up arms in the night and scares the hell out of you by looking like a wounded Kahinda Otafiire.
It lurches out every time you shift positions and because Umeme is load-shedding you, you can end up out jumping down your window and probably hurting yourself.
Take, for example, the issue of Independents. Previously, to be described as independent minded was an attribute every peace-loving citizen would wish for. But, today that is something that is making even our iron man, he-who-weathers-all-storms, Amama Mbabazi, a bit uneasy. Recently, when he spat fire to scare NRM Independents off the election cake, they returned fire in a proper resistance movement format, disabling him from firing the excommunication shot.
And a lot of sleepless nights are currently being evenly spread amongst the Movement leaders.
But, if that was a nervous situation, do not worry. I would like to lead you to a better place where I can have a chance of making you even more nervous.
This independent thing will not go. It never does. It is a natural phenomenon in every facet of life including death where independents, who resist death, return as ghosts.
Take marriage, for example, and remember the time you walked down the isle. You probably knew you were the flag bearer because you had won the primaries. Little did you know that there was an equally popular rival who believed he or she had been rigged out because you wanted marriage and they still had issues to sort out.
Such people rarely hang up their boots. They almost always crop up as Independents even after your wedding. Those dreaded Independents!
And in marriage, the ground is never level. Flag bearers rarely get to know that they have competition. Usually, they stop beseeching the voters, relax and live like Pharisees, while the Independents remain campaigning for votes, knowing that they have to compete with the flag bearer. And there are consequences.
For example, there is a marriage shock as couples discover they have to stop behaving like singles and start being really married.
Women are champions of adjusting ability and usually find this change manageable.
Husbands still want to be with boys, dress like Independents, wink at girls and watch every Premiership game. In so doing, they play into the hands of the Independents whose game is planned according to the rival’s weaknesses.
Mr Husband, therefore, suffers consequences. According to science, even his sperm play like most marathoners who run without the express intention of winning. They get tired and walk, chatting unhelpful gossip about the presidential elections, others stop a bit to buy airtime, drink water, etc.
But, the Independent’s sperm, even when dispatched hours later, race like Kenyans, with a purpose, a rival to defeat. That is why if any pregnancy is to occur, most likely, it is going the Independents way.
But, there is a solution. Religion, the law, society, Movement, etc will call for outlawing the Independents.
But, this will not happen. It cannot, at least not all the time, everywhere. So, it is not a feasible solution.
The remedy is for all flag bearers to start playing like there is a rival. Even when you see no sign of Independents around your home, do not relax; you are probably looking the wrong side.
Even then, Independents can be so invisible that it is easier to see viruses.
Do not wait for evidence, just know there is an Independent candidate and love your electorate like you are in competition.
For wives, it may require harder work. Your independents are volatile, vicious, vengeful, vigorous and come with all other scaring V-words you may think of. Marriage somehow bogs you down from fighting with an equal zeal, but you should not relax.
So, if we can not stop independents from standing, let us defeat them in elections.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug