When will Ugandan women ever flourish?

Mar 06, 2009

On March 8 we will celebrate the International Women’s Day. This being, the day wool is pulled over women’s eyes and speeches are made about how much we have achieved but the speeches are sadly distorted because they hide how little we have really cha

By Atuki Turner

On March 8 we will celebrate the International Women’s Day. This being, the day wool is pulled over women’s eyes and speeches are made about how much we have achieved but the speeches are sadly distorted because they hide how little we have really changed, we need to reflect on a way forward for women. It is in the wake of this years celebrations that I choose to write about flourishing as a woman.

Flourishing Women
We have all come across the type of women who arrest our attention because of their vibrancy, energy, contentment and laughter. These are what we call flourishing women. You might come across them at work, on the streets in the market place or at a conference.

What you notice most about them is that they are comfortable in their skin and it shows through their smile, laughter, walk or how they apply themselves to their work. I call such women flourishing women and I believe these women do not suffer domestic violence.

Many Women think they are super women. They think they can suffer humiliation, abuse and violence in the home and then go out to the world and pretend nothing has happened. But sadly they are fooling no one.

You can dress smart, work hard, deliver reports on time, smile and even laugh but there is a way in which your smartness lacks appeal, your work lacks fun, your smile does not reach your eyes and your laughter stops short. You may be in a crowd but lonely.

People are not likely to suspect the cause for your personality of course but they will just instinctively know that not all’s well with you. Most times they will say so-and-so is not really happy and leave it at that.

On the other hand, a flourishing woman (FW) is easy to spot.

I hesitate to name names but since this is about role models let us go out boldly. Who does not get a lift (of the heart) by watching America’s Oprah Winfrey, a woman so totally at home in her own skin we all wish we could inhabit it with her.

I suspect Oprah does not suffer violence at home. The same could be said of filmstar Whoopie Goldberg. Like Oprah, she may have suffered violence in her early days, but that’s all in the past.

When one comes across Whoopie now, she is a terrifying ghost that is determined to fix people’s lives, she is an awfully stubborn nun (not too much unlike real nuns), she is a woman dressed as a man — she is larger than life — that is our Whoopie. At Madam Tussauds in London where they have life-like wax figures of the world’s important people, that cheeky high cheek boned smile of Whoopie’s wax figure made me smile the most. I imagine Whoopie would not tolerate domestic violence.

Nations that support their women folk by putting in place measures that protect women and enable them to enjoy equal opportunities in education, health and employment, liberate their women and allow them to flourish.

If women do not flourish, they shrink. To take this analogue further, one can talk about states in which women flourish.

If I asked anybody about women they may know from the US then they would be sure to mention Oprah, Condeliza Rice (Stateswoman), Arethrea Franklyn (singer), Toni Morrison (writer), Maya Angelou (poet), and of course Michelle (lawyer) and these are just the ones that share the same colour skin with the President of the US.

Coming back to home terrain, let us talk about Maggie Kigozi. I just had a glimpse of her at a meeting but there was this glow to her face, nicely completed with a brilliant smile and each time I see her face in the papers, there is the same glow. She is a flourishing woman.

There are flourishing men too but that is a topic for next time. (Just a note to say, do not think that flourishing men are men who do not suffer violence. Rather these are men who treat their women well — picture Will Smith (the filmstar). Believe me flourishing has nothing to do with wealth, health, or beauty. It is not tangible but more a state of mind.

So let us imagine Uganda was a state in which women flourished and there was no need to spend much energy fighting for women’s rights.

Well, I imagine Betty Kamya might be commander-in-chief of military detail charting out how to prevent war and ensure peace in Uganda.

Dr Sylvia Tamale, with gay rights finally legalised, would be writing tonnes of the history of the struggle of the women of Africa.

Miriam Matembe would be holding the position of Oprah Winfrey in Uganda for never have I heard a speaker make such deadly points in such a funny way, and Salaam Musumba, well, she could do very well leading the first delegation from Uganda to meet her cousin brother in the White House.

I look forward to the day when women do not need to be a first lady or royalty in Uganda to flourish.

The writer is the executive director MIFUMI, a women’s rights agency working to protect women and children from violence

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