I thought I could not survive without Facebook

Apr 16, 2009

I want to cry out loud and I know people will mock me. Some will call me names, but surely boss, you have disconnected the tube that feeds me. <br>

By Jacobs Odongo

I want to cry out loud and I know people will mock me. Some will call me names, but surely boss, you have disconnected the tube that feeds me.

I appreciate the blessing-in-disguise that could arise, but who says you should not rant about the ‘disguise’?

My sickness was fair, but when I went to hospital, the situation deteriorated and Dr. Mark Zuckerberg decided I would be better feeding through a tube.

My doc called this tube Facebook. Within a week of using it, I realised the cutlery I was previously onto like Yahoo! Mail and Google were chicken droppings.

I understand some people call that condition addiction; to be exact, addiction to Facebook. How many times did I come to the office and try not to browse Facebook only for my index finger to impulsively direct the mouse onto the same thing I was avoiding?

For the unprimed, I am talking about you too. So do not think you are mocking me when I am turning your woes into a lab specimen.

Several times, I told the doctor I was tired of the tubes and wanted solid food. He would allow me to quit, after I filled a form justifying why I was quitting the Internet Craving Unit (ICU).

Funny, this Zuckerberg man! He did not ask me why I was joining Facebook, yet he had to take me through the cumbersome questionnaire before I signed off.

Anyway, the first time I walked out of ICU was on a Friday. I am not sure if it was Friday the 13th, but all I can say is it did not work out.

Two days later, I was back on Facebook! By the time boss busted the tube, I had quit seven times and yet I was still in it.

See, that explains why I no longer chide my friend Emma for refusing to quit fags. Addiction is not an easy thing to do away with.

When Facebook was busted in office, I could not fathom it at the time, my immediate reaction was a grin.

A buddy had SMSed me while I was in Jinja telling me of this news. She was fuming, but as I read the text, I could not conceal my joy.

Later though, I tried to imagine life without Facebook at my desk and it is then that I began to wear a frown on my face. I have to use the kiosk to chat with friends.

I used to get ideas for my work, get comments and interview sources on Facebook.

I will get over this and then who knows, I may be painting my heart red with better things than Dr. Zuckerberg’s tubes.

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