She forced me to sleep with her husband
Apr 17, 2009
Dear Aunt Liz,<br>I have a problem. I stayed with my step-mum for sometime. She forced me to sleep with her husband since she could not produce. I am currently suffering and I cannot let this out. I did it because I needed help, since I had no one to ca
Dear Aunt Liz,
I have a problem. I stayed with my step-mum for sometime. She forced me to sleep with her husband since she could not produce. I am currently suffering and I cannot let this out. I did it because I needed help, since I had no one to cater for me after losing both parents. Please advise.
Winnie
Dear Winnie,
I should say this is the beginning of your healing journey. Thank you for sharing this deep secret, it is a sign that you have begun the process. You must be nursing a painful experience. You seem hurt that you had to be forced into sex against your will. This puts you at risk and it is likely to make you very insecure. Take heart, since you are at the start of your healing process, I believe that your determined effort will grant you freedom. It’s not clear whether you are still staying with your step-mum. Has she been your source of financial and material support? After such an experience, it is safer that you leave your step-mum’s home rather than become a victim of circumstance. You may need to think about accessing any other relatives or friends within reach to offer support as you go through this. Talking about an experience is healing although you need to be careful who you talk to. You may need to find a counselor or someone you trust to offer a listening ear. Bottling up an experience is like covering up a wound, when it becomes septic, the pain becomes worse than before.
Healing for you could also mean a choice to forgive your step mum for all she put you through. You don’t need to face her if you don’t feel like. You can say it out to yourself or write it in form of a letter and when you finish writing it, just trash it to symbolize an end to the whole issue. Don’t be afraid to go through the process. It may be tempting to get out of your way to make ends meet as long as it doesn’t make you a victim. You could seek information on scholarships or even seek part time employment. Sometimes life gets tough, but you need to gather courage, you can go through it. All the best.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor
I have a problem. I stayed with my step-mum for sometime. She forced me to sleep with her husband since she could not produce. I am currently suffering and I cannot let this out. I did it because I needed help, since I had no one to cater for me after losing both parents. Please advise.
Winnie
Dear Winnie,
I should say this is the beginning of your healing journey. Thank you for sharing this deep secret, it is a sign that you have begun the process. You must be nursing a painful experience. You seem hurt that you had to be forced into sex against your will. This puts you at risk and it is likely to make you very insecure. Take heart, since you are at the start of your healing process, I believe that your determined effort will grant you freedom. It’s not clear whether you are still staying with your step-mum. Has she been your source of financial and material support? After such an experience, it is safer that you leave your step-mum’s home rather than become a victim of circumstance. You may need to think about accessing any other relatives or friends within reach to offer support as you go through this. Talking about an experience is healing although you need to be careful who you talk to. You may need to find a counselor or someone you trust to offer a listening ear. Bottling up an experience is like covering up a wound, when it becomes septic, the pain becomes worse than before.
Healing for you could also mean a choice to forgive your step mum for all she put you through. You don’t need to face her if you don’t feel like. You can say it out to yourself or write it in form of a letter and when you finish writing it, just trash it to symbolize an end to the whole issue. Don’t be afraid to go through the process. It may be tempting to get out of your way to make ends meet as long as it doesn’t make you a victim. You could seek information on scholarships or even seek part time employment. Sometimes life gets tough, but you need to gather courage, you can go through it. All the best.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor