Love not for the faint-hearted
May 20, 2009
THIS is very serious. I am announcing a sale. And on my shelves is a very attractive item: A well packaged Arsene Wenger, 59, Frenchman, 6ft 4in, BA Engineering, MA Economics, Manager, Arsenal.
THIS is very serious. I am announcing a sale. And on my shelves is a very attractive item: A well packaged Arsene Wenger, 59, Frenchman, 6ft 4in, BA Engineering, MA Economics, Manager, Arsenal.
Like a cow that used to produce twins, he has often put smiles on my face — I don’t deny that, but like the same cow later, he has graduated into cumulative miscarriages.
It breaks my heart to see Man U fans swelling beyond their skeletons leaving us in the Movement’s shoes; that is bragging in 2009 about what we did in the 1980s. We need a current trophy; that is why he must go! I mean Wenger.
This is making it difficult for me to concentrate on Kayanja Vs homosexual allegations. The homosexual tournament is getting interesting, pitting fire-spitting pastors against stone-splitting clerics. And by the end of the day, the minister for ethics will be forced to do more press conferences, police will receive more houses, newspapers more stories, sceptics more fodder against Pentecostals and, all this time, Arsenal will still be stuck with Wenger.
By the way, if Wenger is not bought by June, or if he stays and still fails to buy real men, I am hereby making a solemn threat: I will NOT leave Arsenal! And I feel like crying because of that. The door is open, I am not chained and yet, somehow, I can’t leave! I don’t like the way players romance with the ball instead of fertilising the net; I don’t like Wenger’s boys’ policy, I have even ran out of patience with his long nose; but I am stuck like the Buganda kingdom conspiracy theories that will never go away.
And on closer scrutiny, I am not alone. There are many of you in a dissatisfying relationship — your expectations are crushed, your efforts to rejuvenate the vigour are trashed, most of the hope is bashed, you know the exit but you just don’t find it in you to go. All you do is to take heart in the belief that you are not alone: There are millions of cheated, battered and exploited spouses, Liverpool supporters (not forgetting The Cranes), FDC supporters, Miracle centre supporters etc. We feel let down by our relationships, logic votes for a divorce but the spirit is not willing to move on to the unknown.
Yes, that spirit is love. Love has a way of making the worst acceptable if given chance. It provides the patience to tame the wild, philandering and incongruent man, the tolerance to humiliating and hurting experiences and the belief in future changes. It helps you appreciate that while your Migingo has actually abandoned you for Kenyans, at least its waters are in Uganda. How wonderful! If only it could stop linking pastors to other men’s bums!
But let us face it. There is no perfect man, or relationship, or pastor, or team. So often, we need patience to adjust to the faults and the determination not to quit but fight to the end. When people in Sri Lanka talk of victory after 26 years, you know patience pays.
Quitting is not always a solution. It makes you a loser, doesn’t kill your pain, opens the door to new and strange problems and sometimes can disorient (or re-orient?) your thinking. Many have quit relationships and failed to retain their heads. Some have been heard asking questions like ‘what is wrong with a woman having many men?’ And they are doctors!
I know love hurts as much as a trophy-less cupboard. But we must be strong. Love is not for the faint-hearted. We cannot be soft when even swine viruses we used to laugh at are rising to take us on.
I don’t even know if I have made my point. If you are still confused, don’t quit. Go back and start from the beginning.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
Like a cow that used to produce twins, he has often put smiles on my face — I don’t deny that, but like the same cow later, he has graduated into cumulative miscarriages.
It breaks my heart to see Man U fans swelling beyond their skeletons leaving us in the Movement’s shoes; that is bragging in 2009 about what we did in the 1980s. We need a current trophy; that is why he must go! I mean Wenger.
This is making it difficult for me to concentrate on Kayanja Vs homosexual allegations. The homosexual tournament is getting interesting, pitting fire-spitting pastors against stone-splitting clerics. And by the end of the day, the minister for ethics will be forced to do more press conferences, police will receive more houses, newspapers more stories, sceptics more fodder against Pentecostals and, all this time, Arsenal will still be stuck with Wenger.
By the way, if Wenger is not bought by June, or if he stays and still fails to buy real men, I am hereby making a solemn threat: I will NOT leave Arsenal! And I feel like crying because of that. The door is open, I am not chained and yet, somehow, I can’t leave! I don’t like the way players romance with the ball instead of fertilising the net; I don’t like Wenger’s boys’ policy, I have even ran out of patience with his long nose; but I am stuck like the Buganda kingdom conspiracy theories that will never go away.
And on closer scrutiny, I am not alone. There are many of you in a dissatisfying relationship — your expectations are crushed, your efforts to rejuvenate the vigour are trashed, most of the hope is bashed, you know the exit but you just don’t find it in you to go. All you do is to take heart in the belief that you are not alone: There are millions of cheated, battered and exploited spouses, Liverpool supporters (not forgetting The Cranes), FDC supporters, Miracle centre supporters etc. We feel let down by our relationships, logic votes for a divorce but the spirit is not willing to move on to the unknown.
Yes, that spirit is love. Love has a way of making the worst acceptable if given chance. It provides the patience to tame the wild, philandering and incongruent man, the tolerance to humiliating and hurting experiences and the belief in future changes. It helps you appreciate that while your Migingo has actually abandoned you for Kenyans, at least its waters are in Uganda. How wonderful! If only it could stop linking pastors to other men’s bums!
But let us face it. There is no perfect man, or relationship, or pastor, or team. So often, we need patience to adjust to the faults and the determination not to quit but fight to the end. When people in Sri Lanka talk of victory after 26 years, you know patience pays.
Quitting is not always a solution. It makes you a loser, doesn’t kill your pain, opens the door to new and strange problems and sometimes can disorient (or re-orient?) your thinking. Many have quit relationships and failed to retain their heads. Some have been heard asking questions like ‘what is wrong with a woman having many men?’ And they are doctors!
I know love hurts as much as a trophy-less cupboard. But we must be strong. Love is not for the faint-hearted. We cannot be soft when even swine viruses we used to laugh at are rising to take us on.
I don’t even know if I have made my point. If you are still confused, don’t quit. Go back and start from the beginning.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug