Make it exciting
Sep 18, 2009
<b>Build up</b><br>Go together for medical check ups. Check for sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, Hepatitis B, sickle cells and blood group matching. You may also add blood count, biochemistry, semen analysis, x-rays, sonography of the reproductive org
Your wedding night cannot be the most intimate as a matter of course. You have to plan for it. HILARY BAINEMIGISHA has tips on how to go about it.
Build up
Go together for medical check ups. Check for sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, Hepatitis B, sickle cells and blood group matching. You may also add blood count, biochemistry, semen analysis, x-rays, sonography of the reproductive organs, and any other the doctor may recommend for you.
Get counselling about opening up to each other and advice on non-sexual quality time you can enjoy together.
Choose the right place for your honeymoon or at least, your first night. Anything away from home is better because your home probably won’t hold the same magic as a new place would. But if you can’t afford it, set the mood of your bedroom to make it special.
Read and ask respectable colleagues and elders about how to make the first night memorable.
Prepare your bodies. Ask your partner what they love (what kind of shaving, which perfume, whether to circumcise etc).
If you live together, stop having sex for a couple of weeks - or even months - before the wedding, so that you may be virgin-like on the special night.
The day
Prepare the required tools; perfume, surprise gifts, romantic props to share (movies, camera, games, etc) and the right lingerie. Ensure they are delivered to the room.
If the day coincides with your menstruation, ask a doctor how you can alter it. If you are on the pill, just change your schedule, for example, if you are getting married in three weeks, stop taking the pill and take it five days later. That will change your period cycle. Consult your doctor to be certain
Make your whole wedding day a build up to a romantic affair. Flirt during the wedding, steal glances at each other, kisses if possible and a joke here and there.
The hour
Switch off your phones.
Help each other out of your elaborate gowns/suits and bathe together to remove the sweat of the day. It will help you bond, reduce tension and relax
Use new bed sheets, which you should keep for big days like birthdays, wedding anniversary or reconciliation.
Wear something sexy but which you feel confident in. A confident lover is a great lover.
Stress, which is natural after planning a wedding and anticipating sex for the first time, might cause vaginal dryness, which can make sex more uncomfortable or painful. It is advisable to spend time on foreplay, but pack some lubrication just in case. Ask a doctor to recommend one.
Spend time relaxing, talking about the wedding, your love for each other, your attractiveness, highlights of the day and future hopes. Let things get romantic and sappy naturally.
If your partner wants sex, try your best. Disclose if you are on tension and encourage each other to relax. Virgin men fear to disclosure yet it helps stabilise her expectations. Don’t put yourself on pressure. Your libido, as psychologist Sigmund Freud said, is the strongest thing about you. Treat it kindly, and it will stand by you.
Don’t worry about how clumsy or goofy you may feel. Try to be gentle and focus on how amazing it is to finally be in each others arms as a married couple. If there is anything you've been wanting to try in romance, this is the right time to experiment.
Remember perfection comes with time. Don’t stress yourself with strict self evaluation and don’t criticise your partner.
For virgins, sex may be painful. But the pain soon goes. Consult with a gynaecologist if it persists and postpone sex until the pain subsides.
Build up
Go together for medical check ups. Check for sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, Hepatitis B, sickle cells and blood group matching. You may also add blood count, biochemistry, semen analysis, x-rays, sonography of the reproductive organs, and any other the doctor may recommend for you.
Get counselling about opening up to each other and advice on non-sexual quality time you can enjoy together.
Choose the right place for your honeymoon or at least, your first night. Anything away from home is better because your home probably won’t hold the same magic as a new place would. But if you can’t afford it, set the mood of your bedroom to make it special.
Read and ask respectable colleagues and elders about how to make the first night memorable.
Prepare your bodies. Ask your partner what they love (what kind of shaving, which perfume, whether to circumcise etc).
If you live together, stop having sex for a couple of weeks - or even months - before the wedding, so that you may be virgin-like on the special night.
The day
Prepare the required tools; perfume, surprise gifts, romantic props to share (movies, camera, games, etc) and the right lingerie. Ensure they are delivered to the room.
If the day coincides with your menstruation, ask a doctor how you can alter it. If you are on the pill, just change your schedule, for example, if you are getting married in three weeks, stop taking the pill and take it five days later. That will change your period cycle. Consult your doctor to be certain
Make your whole wedding day a build up to a romantic affair. Flirt during the wedding, steal glances at each other, kisses if possible and a joke here and there.
The hour
Switch off your phones.
Help each other out of your elaborate gowns/suits and bathe together to remove the sweat of the day. It will help you bond, reduce tension and relax
Use new bed sheets, which you should keep for big days like birthdays, wedding anniversary or reconciliation.
Wear something sexy but which you feel confident in. A confident lover is a great lover.
Stress, which is natural after planning a wedding and anticipating sex for the first time, might cause vaginal dryness, which can make sex more uncomfortable or painful. It is advisable to spend time on foreplay, but pack some lubrication just in case. Ask a doctor to recommend one.
Spend time relaxing, talking about the wedding, your love for each other, your attractiveness, highlights of the day and future hopes. Let things get romantic and sappy naturally.
If your partner wants sex, try your best. Disclose if you are on tension and encourage each other to relax. Virgin men fear to disclosure yet it helps stabilise her expectations. Don’t put yourself on pressure. Your libido, as psychologist Sigmund Freud said, is the strongest thing about you. Treat it kindly, and it will stand by you.
Don’t worry about how clumsy or goofy you may feel. Try to be gentle and focus on how amazing it is to finally be in each others arms as a married couple. If there is anything you've been wanting to try in romance, this is the right time to experiment.
Remember perfection comes with time. Don’t stress yourself with strict self evaluation and don’t criticise your partner.
For virgins, sex may be painful. But the pain soon goes. Consult with a gynaecologist if it persists and postpone sex until the pain subsides.