Men and their fat decisions
Oct 16, 2009
Many men notice that there are advantages that come with body size. We know women really like a great figure and abs that are visible through a shirt. But that is until Mr Money, steps on the other side of the weighing scale to tilt the dividends in favou
Many men notice that there are advantages that come with body size. We know women really like a great figure and abs that are visible through a shirt. But that is until Mr Money, steps on the other side of the weighing scale to tilt the dividends in favour of fat men.
In Uganda, fat for men implies money, wealth, affluence, comfort, power, Movement and authority, all ingredients of an accomplished provider and protector. At parties, no one asks you for a card and you get the best seat.
The police will go slow on you because size implies connections. The bank or micro-finance manager has less doubts when clearing you for a loan, even sex workers give banja and benefit of doubt if you cannot pay upfront.
So, telling men that obesity kills is like explaining to Lukiiko that boycotting The New Vision products will hurt Baganda who work there.
They will acknowledge it and still go ahead feeding on pigs and being fat. That is until they lead a parade at Independence Day and fail to sustain it, falling down before it is over.
Yes, tell men that obesity kills, they will go on discussing the girl who died in Latigo’s accident! But mention that obesity kills manhood, everyone will stop talking and listen attentively.
There will of course be doubting Thomases, like UTODA top officials (who, by the way, have the highest ample size per capita), who will be fat and still actively active. The fat scare looks like the corruption threats we are now used to. But it is a matter of time. It is an accident waiting to happen: Being fat will spoil your game. It is a sure deal.
Fat accumulates in the body due to several factors. But for most Ugandan men in offices, it is largely due to feeding on too much sugars and generally being inactive.
The food you eat exceeds the amount of calories you burn. So the body converts the excess nutrients into fats and stores it as fat deposits under the skin, around internal body organs and within the blood vessels.
This eventually makes you look pregnant from head to toe. And because many men want to be confused with the MD of NSSF, they love it. Even women, who cannot tell where this body part begins and ends, will seem interested.
But in reality, you are being fattened for slaughter. Those fat deposits surrounding the heart start to squeeze it, forcing it to pump the blood slowly, unmethodically and sporadically. Circulation becomes a problem and soon enough, the heart develops complications.
The same happens with other internal organs like the kidney, liver and the lungs. But worst of all is the assault on your headquarters, the penis. Fats deposited within the blood vessels clog it disrupting the smooth blood flow like Uganda’s potholes. This not only results into failure to play sex but also starts you on the final journey to high blood pressure and then cardiac arrest.
Which is a doctor’s way of saying death. Eat carefully, fat kills.
In Uganda, fat for men implies money, wealth, affluence, comfort, power, Movement and authority, all ingredients of an accomplished provider and protector. At parties, no one asks you for a card and you get the best seat.
The police will go slow on you because size implies connections. The bank or micro-finance manager has less doubts when clearing you for a loan, even sex workers give banja and benefit of doubt if you cannot pay upfront.
So, telling men that obesity kills is like explaining to Lukiiko that boycotting The New Vision products will hurt Baganda who work there.
They will acknowledge it and still go ahead feeding on pigs and being fat. That is until they lead a parade at Independence Day and fail to sustain it, falling down before it is over.
Yes, tell men that obesity kills, they will go on discussing the girl who died in Latigo’s accident! But mention that obesity kills manhood, everyone will stop talking and listen attentively.
There will of course be doubting Thomases, like UTODA top officials (who, by the way, have the highest ample size per capita), who will be fat and still actively active. The fat scare looks like the corruption threats we are now used to. But it is a matter of time. It is an accident waiting to happen: Being fat will spoil your game. It is a sure deal.
Fat accumulates in the body due to several factors. But for most Ugandan men in offices, it is largely due to feeding on too much sugars and generally being inactive.
The food you eat exceeds the amount of calories you burn. So the body converts the excess nutrients into fats and stores it as fat deposits under the skin, around internal body organs and within the blood vessels.
This eventually makes you look pregnant from head to toe. And because many men want to be confused with the MD of NSSF, they love it. Even women, who cannot tell where this body part begins and ends, will seem interested.
But in reality, you are being fattened for slaughter. Those fat deposits surrounding the heart start to squeeze it, forcing it to pump the blood slowly, unmethodically and sporadically. Circulation becomes a problem and soon enough, the heart develops complications.
The same happens with other internal organs like the kidney, liver and the lungs. But worst of all is the assault on your headquarters, the penis. Fats deposited within the blood vessels clog it disrupting the smooth blood flow like Uganda’s potholes. This not only results into failure to play sex but also starts you on the final journey to high blood pressure and then cardiac arrest.
Which is a doctor’s way of saying death. Eat carefully, fat kills.