Real men do not revenge after a break up
Oct 22, 2009
YOU have perhaps witnessed such a scenario or read a screaming headline in New Vision’s sister paper Bukedde before. The setting is usually at a police station. In the blue corner is a fat, bloated middle-aged man who looks every inch vengeful.
By Alex Balimwikungu
YOU have perhaps witnessed such a scenario or read a screaming headline in New Vision’s sister paper Bukedde before. The setting is usually at a police station. In the blue corner is a fat, bloated middle-aged man who looks every inch vengeful.
In the red corner, forcibly squatting and keenly watched by the Police, is a tall, youthful man, with symmetrical features and testosterone coursing through his veins.
Squatting close to the young man is their object of conflict — the accuser’s wife. The two were nabbed red handed making out in Mr. Fat man’s bedroom. What comes to your mind when you read such stories?
You would be shocked. Where you expect society to ascend their moral high horse to condemn the human being who poached on another man’s wife, he is silently viewed as a hero. Ask that lady near you who she thinks is a real man is!
Such scenarios are usually summed with the guilty woman declaring why she was driven into cheating: Omusajja tamalako (my husband is a lazy tired sonofab**ch who cannot fulfill his conjugal duties).
Which man wouldn’t want the ground to swallow him at this point? Such is the price for seeking to exact revenge! The whole nation gets to know what you get up to between the sheets.
The age-old proverb that revenge is a dish best served cold comes into play at this point. It suggests that if someone does something bad to you, it is better to pay them back later in time, not immediately.
Against this backdrop, however, some women tend to be comfortable when beaten. Growing up, attending village LC1 court cases deep in Busoga was a favourite pastime.
Then, women dragged their husbands to the area chairman for not beating them in a while. “I am not sure he still loves me,†they often argued.
A real man who is in charge of his emotions should never belittle himself by resorting to petty vengeance. Silence can be deafening. Imagine you bump into your wife in a compromising position with another man in your house and it is highly unlikely that they are preparing for a prayer meeting. What would you do?
I would tell her: “Hi honey, I’m home.†Then move over, peck her, say a casual greeting to the intruder and then head to the bedroom. I’d bet you a million shillings, you will not find either when you return to the sitting room.
I also believe moving on is the best form of revenge. “How about my slighted pride?†You know what they say about pride.
Since it (pride) has no calories, you can swallow it and still not become fat. Even if you meted out revenge, you cannot heal the deep inner wound by inflicting revenge.
I know of someone who lured his ex back to his fold, had sex with her and then immediately called it off. Whether it sated his bruised ego, he never told, but I believe real men do not have time to think of a girl who has broken up with him. You are better off improving yourself and interacting with better women.
Then the clincher. Remember when you forgave her the last time you caught her cheating?.
What happens when she lands on you in a similar position? You can have the audacity to tell her: “Honey get prepared, you are next!†She will oblige. Checkmate if you asked me.
YOU have perhaps witnessed such a scenario or read a screaming headline in New Vision’s sister paper Bukedde before. The setting is usually at a police station. In the blue corner is a fat, bloated middle-aged man who looks every inch vengeful.
In the red corner, forcibly squatting and keenly watched by the Police, is a tall, youthful man, with symmetrical features and testosterone coursing through his veins.
Squatting close to the young man is their object of conflict — the accuser’s wife. The two were nabbed red handed making out in Mr. Fat man’s bedroom. What comes to your mind when you read such stories?
You would be shocked. Where you expect society to ascend their moral high horse to condemn the human being who poached on another man’s wife, he is silently viewed as a hero. Ask that lady near you who she thinks is a real man is!
Such scenarios are usually summed with the guilty woman declaring why she was driven into cheating: Omusajja tamalako (my husband is a lazy tired sonofab**ch who cannot fulfill his conjugal duties).
Which man wouldn’t want the ground to swallow him at this point? Such is the price for seeking to exact revenge! The whole nation gets to know what you get up to between the sheets.
The age-old proverb that revenge is a dish best served cold comes into play at this point. It suggests that if someone does something bad to you, it is better to pay them back later in time, not immediately.
Against this backdrop, however, some women tend to be comfortable when beaten. Growing up, attending village LC1 court cases deep in Busoga was a favourite pastime.
Then, women dragged their husbands to the area chairman for not beating them in a while. “I am not sure he still loves me,†they often argued.
A real man who is in charge of his emotions should never belittle himself by resorting to petty vengeance. Silence can be deafening. Imagine you bump into your wife in a compromising position with another man in your house and it is highly unlikely that they are preparing for a prayer meeting. What would you do?
I would tell her: “Hi honey, I’m home.†Then move over, peck her, say a casual greeting to the intruder and then head to the bedroom. I’d bet you a million shillings, you will not find either when you return to the sitting room.
I also believe moving on is the best form of revenge. “How about my slighted pride?†You know what they say about pride.
Since it (pride) has no calories, you can swallow it and still not become fat. Even if you meted out revenge, you cannot heal the deep inner wound by inflicting revenge.
I know of someone who lured his ex back to his fold, had sex with her and then immediately called it off. Whether it sated his bruised ego, he never told, but I believe real men do not have time to think of a girl who has broken up with him. You are better off improving yourself and interacting with better women.
Then the clincher. Remember when you forgave her the last time you caught her cheating?.
What happens when she lands on you in a similar position? You can have the audacity to tell her: “Honey get prepared, you are next!†She will oblige. Checkmate if you asked me.