Ask Aunt Liz
Jan 07, 2009
Dear Aunt Liz,<br>I have been staying with my step-mum for sometime. My parents died. After some time, she forced me to have sex with her husband because she could not produce. Now I am suffering and I cannot let this out. I’m so poor that I can’t le
Dear Aunt Liz,
I have been staying with my step-mum for sometime. My parents died. After some time, she forced me to have sex with her husband because she could not produce. Now I am suffering and I cannot let this out. I’m so poor that I can’t leave the home. Please advise.
Winnie
Dear Winnie,
I should say this is the beginning of your healing journey. Thank you for sharing this deep secret; it is a sign that you have begun the process.
You must be nursing a rather painful experience. You seem hurt that you were forced into sex against your will. This puts you at risk. Take heart, your determination will grant you freedom.
It’s not clear whether you are still staying with your step-mum. Has she been your source of financial and material support?
After such an experience, it is safer to leave your step-mum’s home rather than become a victim of circumstance. You may need to think about accessing other relatives or friends within reach for support.
You need to be careful whom you talk to. A counsellor or someone you trust could be better. Bottling up an experience is like covering up a wound, when it becomes septic, the pain is even worse.
Healing could also mean forgiving your step. You don’t need to face her if you don’t feel like. You can say it out to yourself or write it in form of a letter and just trash it to symbolise an end to the whole issue.
You could seek information on scholarships or even seek part-time employment. Sometimes life gets tough, but you need to gather courage.
Auntie Liz is a professional counsellor
I have been staying with my step-mum for sometime. My parents died. After some time, she forced me to have sex with her husband because she could not produce. Now I am suffering and I cannot let this out. I’m so poor that I can’t leave the home. Please advise.
Winnie
Dear Winnie,
I should say this is the beginning of your healing journey. Thank you for sharing this deep secret; it is a sign that you have begun the process.
You must be nursing a rather painful experience. You seem hurt that you were forced into sex against your will. This puts you at risk. Take heart, your determination will grant you freedom.
It’s not clear whether you are still staying with your step-mum. Has she been your source of financial and material support?
After such an experience, it is safer to leave your step-mum’s home rather than become a victim of circumstance. You may need to think about accessing other relatives or friends within reach for support.
You need to be careful whom you talk to. A counsellor or someone you trust could be better. Bottling up an experience is like covering up a wound, when it becomes septic, the pain is even worse.
Healing could also mean forgiving your step. You don’t need to face her if you don’t feel like. You can say it out to yourself or write it in form of a letter and just trash it to symbolise an end to the whole issue.
You could seek information on scholarships or even seek part-time employment. Sometimes life gets tough, but you need to gather courage.
Auntie Liz is a professional counsellor